[text/video] un: @skull

[ryuji]

[A few days after gravity is restored to the station, Ryuji returns to the mess hall from Haru's garden to find a small robot flipped upside down, panicking through a series of morse beeps and boops, which- okay, that's kind of cool, and quickly figures out that the paneling and suction entrances of the little guy means it's probably meant for filtration and cleaning.

Looks pretty study, looks... waterproof, maybe? He lends a hand to get him right side up and it starts slowly moving forward. Ryuji takes out his communicator and immediately films this as it happens, because, why not?

He posts two videos on the network- the roomba moving down the hall and one, a few hours later in the fitness center as it crawls from the edge, and dives right in.]

Oh shit! Are you supposed to do that?

Whoa, whoa- I don't know how to fix you if you--- WHOA, COOL.




Hey, sup?

Just lettin you guys know the pool looks crystal clear now. All thanks to this little dude.

I figure I should give 'em a name but uh

Everything that comes to mind is kinda lame

Anyway, I think it's good? Anyone wanna give it the first try?

[Complete with file0033.png - a picture of crystal clear water.]

Comments

[ryuji]

[Without missing a beat-]

Can I watch?

[hopefragment]

why do you want to watch

[ryuji]

To get special tips and tricks?

[And also to watch this train crash and BURN.]

[hopefragment]

keep that up and i'll test my hair-cutting skills on you first

[ryuji]

COULD YOU?

My hair keeps tickling my eyebrows and I HATE IT

[hopefragment]

[...]

sure, i'll give it a try. i think i can avoid cutting your ears off, at least

[How hard can it be??]

[ryuji]

Wait, wait, wait.

You're gonna do it on yourself first right?

Like a trial run?

I like my ears.

They're good for things like hearing.

[hopefragment]

and here i thought you were volunteering...

you can still hear without the outsides of your ears, i'm pretty sure

but no really, i'll try doing my own first. if i mess it up, at least it grows quickly enough that people shouldn't notice

[ryuji]

I have a pretty good looking face, right?

[hopefragment]

i'm cutting your hair, not your face, don't worry

[ryuji]

DUDE YOU JUST IMPLIED THAT I CAN LIVE WITHOUT EARLOBES

[hopefragment]

I SAID YOU COULD LIVE WITHOUT THEM, NOT THAT I'D ACTUALLY CUT THEM OFF

[ryuji]

WELL EXCUSE ME FOR WORRYING ABOUT MY TOTALLY HANDSOME FEATURES WHEN YOU'RE SO BLATANTLY OKAY WITH THEM NOT EXISTING.

[hopefragment]

FORGET IT I'LL JUST CUT MY OWN HAIR AND YOU CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO CUT YOUR OWN!!

[ryuji]

NO??

WHAT IF I CUT MY EAR OFF??

[hopefragment]

SO YOU JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO BLAME ME FOR CUTTING YOUR EAR OFF HUH

[ryuji]

CUTTING IT OFF OR TALKING IT OFF YOU SEEM TO BE REALLY GOOD AT IT EITHER WAY

[hopefragment]

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

i'm coming over to take the scissors now

[ryuji]

[Take??? the scissors? He can't watch?]

Aight.

Lemme just finish trimming the pubes with em first

[hopefragment]

[He's.... he's joking, right??? Hajime's pRETTY SURE HE'S JOKING??]

try not to cut anything off you'll miss, cause i'd really rather not be the one to stitch that back up

[That's. That's on Alucard. Anyway he's absolutely coming over, knocking a few times on Ryuji's door. Knock knock, binch, open up so he can cut your ears off.]

[ryuji]

[He grimaces at the comment. There's something about mentioning the idea of cutting himself there that makes him viscerally feel something a phantom pain of threat down there. Ugh, thanks Hajime.

But he is acutely aware that he'll arrive soon, and tries to tidy up a little bit. Not even for appearances or anything like that, but because the room always feels smaller when there's 2 people in it... and if Ren comes back from wherever he is, it'll be even worse with 3.

Answering the door, he's got the scissors in his hand, held on by the loop of the metal half with the thumb hold on it.]

Good timing. I just finished up and I'm smooth as hell right now.

[hopefragment]

Oh, great. And here I thought you'd gone and cut it off.

[...Eugh. That hurts to think about. And while he's still totally not convinced that's what Ryuji was actually doing, he's still... taking the scissors by the other end of the handle, not the blade. He's just going to head into the bathroom to wash them really quick, first. yeah.

Let's get away from that thought, shall we??]

I'm surprised you haven't tried using bleach on your hair or something by now.

[ryuji]

Wow. You know what? You can screw right off into the land of... wherever people go where they screw off to.

[He deflates a little bit.

Nice comeback, dweeb.

Rolling his eyes- he hopes Hajime knows that HE'S KIDDING and that he didn't TRIM HIS PUBES with his only pair of good scissors. But now that that's out there in the world, he might, one day. Exactly when Hajime needs to borrow them and he's long forgotten this exchange.

Either way, he follows him, leaning up against the door to the bathroom with arms crossed.]

Oh? I was hopin' to use some on your little bean sprout.

[hopefragment]

[He just laughs. What a great comeback, 10/10. Comeback of the century right there.

He shakes the scissors a few times to get any residual water off them, raising an incredulous eyebrow at Ryuji through the mirror.]

Sorry, what? Blond isn't my color.

[White on the other hand? Maybe that could be kind of cool.]

[ryuji]

What are you talkin' about? You could totally... rock blond...

[Ryuji can't even keep a straight face while he says this. It takes time to build up to this level of looking cool while continually box-dyeing your hair.

Except, he was kind of fucked. He'd been meaning to ask Ren to help him out with touching it up.]

My mom used to help me dye it. She hated it at first, sayin' that I looked better with my natural hair color, but the first time I tried it on my own, it came out bright orange and I had to take a few days off of school. So she started to help me out. It was kinda like our Saturday night tradition.

[Watching him, he waits to see if he's really going to do it. If he's really going to cut his hair. By himself.

Yes, this is the only form of entertainment on Reverie Station.]