reverienet | video; un: tokumei

[ This post has been some time coming. Ever since he volunteered to help Miller unlock the Hangar Bay door last month-- no, even before that, he's been wanting to tell the truth. He'd never told anyone before Miller (and then Alex, and 9S...), but he's never had anyone to tell before. For so long, he lived his life in self-imposed solitary exile, surrounded by millions of people in Tokyo but not letting any of them get too close, for fear they would discover the truth and hate him, fear him, or turn him in to Project Integration.

But now he's in space, and Project Integration couldn't be farther away (barring a few hysterical hallucinations). And he has friends. Friends who deserve to know the truth. The whole truth.

He opts not to use text, thinking it would probably be better to do this as visually as possible. He sits, kneeling in the Japanese style, in front of the camera, hands clenching in the fabric of his jumpsuit pants out of nerves. ]

Hello, everyone. Most of you know me as Hideki Matsukawa. I'm here to— [ He stops, bites his lip. Presses on. ]

I want to come clean. The name Hideki Matsukawa is a lie. It belonged to the man whose body you see now, but that's not me.

Hideki Matsukawa was a bike messenger in Hiroshima, Japan, on Earth. About two years ago, he was hit by a car, suffered major head trauma, and was declared braindead. His body was donated to a group of scientists who called themselves Project Integration. Their purpose was to expand upon the ways in which humanity and technology could be linked. Their main project was to see whether it was possible to install an artificial brain, complete with its own AI, into a human host body.

I... am... that brain.

[ He glances down at his clenched fists, trying not to let his voice shake or his eyes start to water. ]

I'm sorry to have lied to all of you. You thought I was human, but I'm not. I felt I had to lie, because I thought Project Integration was behind all of this, but it's become clear to me now that that's not the case.

[ He lowers his head to the floor in an elaborate bow. ]

Please forgive me! I never meant to hurt anyone with my deceptions. I hope you can accept me now that you know what I am.

[ He stays in that position for a minute longer, then sits back up, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. ]

Please, call me Haruto. That's the name I chose for myself, when I... left Project Integration. That is the name I would prefer to be called.

[ As Midnighter said, it's the name that feels the least like a lie. ]

If you have any further questions, I'll be happy to answer them. I don't want to hide anymore. Thank you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ This is a very serious moment, and a very serious confession.

And it's a damn shame Hyunseok is sitting here staring dumbly at the recording, complete with rapid blinking instead of thinking of something useful to say to assure Hid-- Haruto that this is all fine.

Well. Fine? Probably fine. It sucks for the guy who died though, but that's not really the AI's fault or anything.

Anyway, all of these thoughts manage to die somewhere along the way from brain to mouth, because all that comes out is-- ]

What?

[ Haruto gives a worried smile to Hyunseok, feeling guilty for having deceived one of his only friends here. ]

I'm sorry I lied to you, Hyunseok. I hope you'll let me make it up to you.

[ There's another few seconds of rapid blinking as he takes this all in. ]

Wait, but is that a thing you have to make up to me? I mean, the whole brain in a dead guy's body thing is kind of crazy, but it's not like... bad or anything?

[ A very brief pause as Hyunseok realizes there might be ethical issues here he is ill equipped to understand, much less judgments about. ]

Well, not on your end. You're just a guy, a computer guy, who ended up in a body thanks to some other non-computer guys. It's kind of hard to explain actually now that I say it out loud, so I get why you didn't.

Still, just because something's hard to explain doesn't mean you should lie to people about it. I'm sorry that I wasn't honest with you, from the beginning.

[ He knows his reasons for lying, but still feels guilty for having done so. ]

[ As someone who hasn't really gone into any details about what he was doing before he came here, and didn't really have plans of sharing, it's making him feel a little guilty. Damn. ]

No, I mean... it's okay, I'm not upset or anything.

[ Trying to grin to lighten the mood. ]

It's good to know your real name though.

Thank you. It's.. good to have it out in the open, finally.

Like a big weight lifted off you?

[ He grins. ]

Exactly like that.

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