[This is a really weird position for Ryuji to be in. He reads Venus' texts, over and over again. A lot of things flash through his head all at once, and he can't seem to pick apart the important stuff, other than the prevailing, complex feeling of not... really understanding himself at a fundamental level.
He's kind of angry, too- for several reasons, because Ryuji's angry a lot of the time and has no outlet for those sorts of pervasive thoughts. It's a comfortable go-to when there are conflicts that he doesn't have an answer for; remnants of a childhood rife with misunderstanding and various abuses.
And it goes something like:
1. Venus is assuming that he has feelings for other guys to begin with, which 2. It's something he's quietly battled with for a long time, and 3. He's still fucked up over two older men sketchily trying to hit on him in Shinjuku and pulling his insecurities out of him into broad daylight around his friends when he wasn't ready to deal with that stuff, but 4. He's kind of kicking himself that he said the things he said, because he wasn't sure that's how he meant it to begin with, and it creates a circular loop because, 5. The more he thinks about it, the more of an abyss this opens up into and he's caught questioning himself again, and 6. Even if that were the case, and he admittedly did find Akira attractive, 7. No one really wants Ryuji Sakamoto in that way to begin with; he knows it, deep down at the core he's not a person that people naturally love, finally leading to 8. In the slim 1% chance that there was flirting going on, of course it would be with someone who's already In The Hearts with Someone Else. 9. He just ends up hating himself a little bit more, and 10. He'll play it off like it was bullshit to begin with.
Huh?
Oh, man. No, it's cool.
I don't swing that way to begin with, so it's not like anything would come outta it anyway
no subject
He's kind of angry, too- for several reasons, because Ryuji's angry a lot of the time and has no outlet for those sorts of pervasive thoughts. It's a comfortable go-to when there are conflicts that he doesn't have an answer for; remnants of a childhood rife with misunderstanding and various abuses.
And it goes something like:
Huh?
Oh, man. No, it's cool.
I don't swing that way to begin with, so it's not like anything would come outta it anyway
And if he likes someone he should tell 'em
That's how this works, yeah?
[He'll figure it out one day.]