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the expanse: josephus miller

video/action » un:millerlite

[ miller got with the program... quick. he wakes up near the observation deck and snaps up the communicator that won't stop chirping at him and julie's necklace that's also within his grasp - he rubs his fingers over the beads before pocketing it. jumpsuit... magboots. back to square one. god, he hates space. in his fugue at first he thinks it's julie's voice, but it's not. and just as quickly he pieces together that this isn't eros. he sneers at the foreign insignia on the wall and starts scrolling through menus until the stupid recording stops. he logs in after a few different username kickbacks and pulls up a video feed. no time like the present to figure this shit out, right?

a surly-looking man with a (fake) mohawk appears on the network, the giant window of space his backdrop. he hasn't actually looked through said window yet though. ]

You tried to save the world? Yeah, okay. I was just risking my neck to save the whole goddamn Solar System, but I guess. You know, fine, that's great, I can always take a detour. [ he does not look like it's fine OR great okay. ] So what is this? Dusters, Earthers... I know this is an Inner operation. No way Belters are in the kidnapping people business. Unless it's profitable. And let me tell you right now, I'm about as useless a pickup as they come.

[ miller scrubs a hand over his mouth and turns, finally, to the bay window. concern flickers over his face, maybe fear too. but when he turns back to the video his expression is clear. he can't let this distract him, he has a job to finish. ]

Can I get a headcount at least? I'm sure I'm the only Belter on this rust-bucket too. [ he smooths two fingers along the seam of the window, making a little huffing sound when it comes back dirty. ] Well, here's something that might interest you Earthers: Eros is on a collision course for your precious blue globe, so hook me up with an escape pod. A frickin' catapult, I don't care. I was busy, you don't get to just take grand gestures like that away from a guy. [ okay this is edging towards counterproductive so he just groans and shakes his head, ending the feed after a terse: ] Miller out.

[ if anyone comes by the deck, he'll be just as grumpy, looking over the stars and wondering why he doesn't recognize a single one. miller rubs at his eyes, his free hand reaching into his pocket to touch the necklace - oddly the only thing they didn't take from him. and yet it was the only thing of value he was carrying other than a vac suit and a goddamn nuke. when you get close enough, you'll probably hear him muttering nonsense to himself but the gist of it is: ] I hate space.

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[He is, in face, happy to see him. In about the same measure as he is absolutely baffled to see him. But the pure pleasure is what wins out, over everything, because there's been a fuck ton of strange shit in this place, since Alex got here, but this definitely tops the list as part of the Best of them.

He strode right over, reaching out to grasp Miller's arm with his good one (right over the cancer med implant, sorry Miller), squeezing as if to ensure that Miller was actually there.]

Damned if I know, but hell, it's good to see you. [His arm fell back to his side.]

You - Damn, I can't get over this--

[ you're making him uncomfortable!!! why are you touching him, also. miller grimaces at the squeeze to his arm as it causes an unpleasant tug to his port. but he doesn't try to shrug alex off, it isn't like it's bad to see him either. anyone from the roci is good people, in his mind. once he was excited to start calling them family -- but he ruined all that. or so he thought. ]

You feeling okay, pilot?

Feelin' pretty damn good at the moment, hoss. How did you-- Where did you--

How the hell did you get off Eros? There's no way-- how did you even manage to survive it?

[If he sounds in awe, it's because he is. He had been 200% sure that Miller was dead. There was no way anything could have survived that blast. And yet, the protomolecule did somehow, and here Miller was in the flesh--

Oh, shit. He backed up suddenly, quickly, glancing over him with a worried look, before relaxing.]

You don't look like your blue 'n glowin'....

Edited 2018-05-16 11:09 (UTC)

[ how did he... get off eros? his eyes widen a little, really considering what alex is saying. how did you survive - uh... when alex backs off though that's a good distraction, and miller just barely holds back an eyeroll. ]

That's because I'm not, asshole. I didn't even get inside the station. What the fuck? [ he was planting the charges with diogo when he arrived here ]

[ Alex's face flickers with confusion, his brows furrowing and his head tilting to the side. ]

Uh- you alright there, Miller? Maybe you lost a few pieces in there, on the way down? But you were on Eros weeks ago. Hell, we all thought you were dead this whole time--

Am I alright? You're looking at me like I might catch fire any secon-- [ damnit. damnit. why is this happening to him?! ] What the fuck is this place.

[Alex went to raise his hands, moved his broken arm, winced, and did the intelligent thing and only held up one. Look, he forgot sometimes.]

Alrigh', alrigh' calm down. We'll start from the top. We have no idea what this place is, where it is, or how we got here. But Amos has been here two weeks, me about ten days, and Naomi a little less than that.

Still haven't been able to find Holden and Prax - wait, shit, you would have no idea who Prax is...

[ His face fell. ]

Or Ganymede...

[ miller grimaces when alex raises his broken arm, but doesn't say anything about it, trying to process the words he's being given instead. ]

What happened to Ganymede? [ no holden... who the hell is prax? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING??? oh my god. one thing at a time. he needs a paper bag to breathe into at this rate. ] ...If I heave right now don't take it personal. [ he's feeling a wave of space sickness coming on and this conversation? really isn't helping. ]

[ Alex grimaced in return. ]

Look, uh - there's a bar. Down on the third floor. Maybe we should head there, you can sit down, and I can fill you in.

A bar? Why didn't you say so. [ he stops looking green near immediately, turning to follow alex wherever this bar is!!! ]

[Alex gives a bemused look, but honestly? For the best. So he takes Miller down to the bar and pours them both out a drink and leaves the bottle on the counter between them.]

Alright, hell, I don't even know where to start. I guess with Eros. You said you hadn't even made it onto the surface yet, right?

[ he slumps into his chair, hand shaking just enough to be noticed as he grabs for the glass and downs a healthy portion. ]

Just barely. Me and the kid there - Diogo - we were plantin' charges. [ he shrugs a shoulder and takes in another mouthful, running a hand over short hair he's still not fully used to. he was doing the right thing for once in his goddamn life, now he's here. what the fuck? ]

[ Alex nodded. ] Tha's right. But then-- [ He hesitated. Damn. How much should he actually say, here?]

Do you remember the last one failin'? When it got set to the 60 second timer?

[ his heart races, he has no idea what alex is talking about. miller decides to finish off his glass and pour another one before trying to answer, closing his eyes through the burn. jesus, this stuff is awful. it's doing the trick though - numbing his senses and making it easier to take in what he's being told at face value. ]

I had just planted the first charge. [ that alex knows what happens after-- what is this, time travel? it's already bullshit that they're in a diffeernt solar system with no way to get back to theirs. but this is entirely Too Damn Much. he hazards a wary glance alex's way before taking back drink #2 all at once. ]

[ Alex hasn't even touched his drink, watching Miller with a wary look. ]

And that's all you remember, before comin' here. [ Half a question, half a statement. He raised his good hand to scratch at his forehead. ]

Damn. Miller - It's been a long time, since then. Eros... You stayed on Eros.

[ he drops the glass on the bartop with a heavy clink, sucking liquor off his lips as he tries to think of an answer that won't break both of their brains. unfortunately, none exists. ]

How long. [ it's a demand, not a question, his eyes lifting to alex's face before thinking better of it and dropping right back into his empty glass, wrapping both hands around it now. ]

Almost two months, though it feels a hell of a lot longer than that. [ A lot had happened. A lot. ]

The Navoo missed, because Eros - Eros started movin' on it's own. But you dragged that last charged all the way into the heart of it, and somehow... [ He gave a helpless look. ] I ain't got a clue what you did in there, Miller, but it changed course from Earth and crashed into Venus, instead. With you on it.

[ the nauvoo missed. but fred and his crack team of nerds had-- wait. eros moved? that gets miller to take notice, sitting up and looking at alex properly in the eye now. ]

Well... that's good, right? [ not for him, maybe, but for earth? and the universe? he swallows, thinking of how it had felt right before his spacewalk. he knew, on some level, that he wasn't going to get to come back. ] That's good.

[ miller repeats it, as if to try to convince himself. then he pours another drink and clinks his glass against alex's neglected one. drink with him, asshole. ]

[ The clink reminds him, and he finally picks up his glass in his good hand and takes a drink. ]

Yeah. It's good. [ His tone suggests that maybe it isn't, but that's only because so much shit had happened since. ] You saved thirty billion people, Miller. Think I'd say that's pretty damn good.

[ The 'but' hung heavy, and unspoken, in the air. ]

[ you saved 30 billion people. it doesn't sound like him, even in a hypothetical future, or present he has no recollection of. he grunts, noncommittal, and takes another drink. he knows he can't keep going like this but it seems like a shame to stop now when he's already catching a buzz. ]

What about the kid? [ he remembers suddenly, hoping he didn't resign diogo to his fate. ] I told him I'd look out for him.

[ Kid... Oh, right, the kid that Miller had been laying the charges with. What was his name... ]

Diogo? Yeah, he's fine. [ Though a bit of persona-non-grata right now, but he wasn't about to mention that. ] You sent him back, and stayed yourself. Far as I know, he's on Ceres now.

[ he nods, even better. only he had to go down with that ship. he feels oddly satisfied with that result, it was better than jumping off his balcony at home anyway. a fantasy he'd had often enough it's no trouble to conjure now, thinking of that little girl seeing him go splat as his lips set in a grim line. he swirls the liquid in his glass, watching as a few bubbles slosh in midair, and for a moment he's back on eros with diogo, terrified out of his mind. isn't it awesome? the spacewalk. his first ever. it takes him another few seconds to remember alex is beside him. ]

At least nothing of value was lost. [ just 100,001 belters, right? the system wouldn't weep for them, so he won't either. ]

[ Alex looks grim, finishing his drink mostly so he can stall, not sure how to reply to something so clearly laced with self hatred. He definitely doesn't consider Eros as "just" anything, but... ]

I wish I could say it ended there. [ He reached out for the bottle, pouring himself a second drink and then placing it off to his side, out of Miller's reach. He'd have to ask, to get another. ]

But it ain't over. The protomolecule's still out there, an' people are still usin' it for shit they shouldn't. Earth and Mars - [He let out a hard breath, thinking of Ganymede.] It's a shooting war, now. You saved a lot of people, but we ain't out of the woods yet.

[ he nods at that, noticing instantly when alex moves the bottle. he doesn't move to correct it and he certainly doesn't say anything, taking a sip and making a face instead. it's much worse when you drink it slow enough to taste it. abort, abort. ]

I knew it wouldn't end there, it was never going to. But I played out my part.

[ what good is he in a war anyway. is he sorry they have to play cleanup? not really, it's what they seem intent on doing either way. ]

When men have weapons, they use 'em. Imagine that.

Yeah. You did. [ And Alex believes that, completely. Miller gave his life for it. He's earned his rest.

Only apparently he wasn't resting. Alex took another long drink . ]

Anyway, the point is - [ He turned his head to catch Miller's eye, his expression grim but firm. ] I'm glad to see you. Don't know how in the hell you're alive, but I'll take it.

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cw: suicidal ideations what a surprise

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