text; un: turntechGodhead

[oculusriffs]

hey so
everyone who was at that job fair thing a while back and didnt zone out five minutes in
did yall ever decide who the official space plumber is
or were there even your standard heroic type jobs on the list
like the purehearted king arthur sorta heroes who can swing by really quick and pull a sword out of a stone
by stone i mean porcelain btw
thats the literal skillset im lookin for here

[Dave wouldn't be bothering with the network if he weren't desperate. everyone else seems to be finding useful things like clothes and weapons that can actually be utilized for self-defense, and he's the jackass over here with a sword that barely even qualifies as a weapon stuck in his toilet.]

[okay, so it wasn't stuck when he first found it sitting there in the toilet. it got stuck through a series of stupid impulse decisions, such as immediately trying to send it out to space via flushing. and since he is no hero, no purehearted King Arthur type, that sord in the throne ain't budging.]

Comments

[potentite]

Umm, yeah! I mean, I hope we still are. [He realises how that sounds and waves his hands.] Sorry, there was a lot going on for us despite the session being so dull. Or maybe because of it?

[Maybe if they'd had a real objective they could have pulled together. But then again, those issues would have still been there. A slow simmer might not have been much better.]

But we all grew up relying on each other. Dirk was all on his lonesome minus his manmade company. Roxy had those funny little alien fellows but they don't seem to have been the best of pals. More like polite associates. Jane had her dad! But with all the assassination attempts, she had to keep on her toes. And um, well, I had to stay put on an island by myself. But we had each other. Um, and these alien friends who connected us in the first place! [He smiles, soft as he thinks.] We would send each other movies or music... we did convoluted gift exchanges when we could round up the manpower for it. It was tough! But really fun, too.

[oculusriffs]

[if Dave ever figures out that he means the carapacians when he says "funny little alien fellows," then Jake should immediately expect to be educated on how the mayor is not only the best of pals, but he's basically the best thing that ever existed.]

Aside from things like assassination attempts and polite associates, that doesn't sound too far off from what it was like for me and my friends. Took a while for the aliens to become friends, though.

But, Jane? [hm.]

Oh, you mean John's hot mom.

[DAVE STRIDER.]

[potentite]

[That. Flusters him a little. Look, he doesn't want to date Jane but he does have eyes? There is truly no denying that she is attractive.]

Ah, yes, she's quite the fetching young lass, isn't she? But yes, John was her dear old Poppop Crocker, a fine comedian all stitched up even after his unfortunate death. Though if I recall, Lil' Seb holed up in him for a while too.

[oculusriffs]

[there's a brief moment, where the words "fetching young lass" hit him and he just stands there, eyes wide behind his shades, realizing that he did, in fact, say "John's hot mom" out loud. oh god dammit, he did it again!]

I mean. [yeah, no dude, you're not escaping this one. but Jake changes the subject so easily, it's just as easy for him to go ahead and roll along with it.]

[and you know what? they're both right. Jane Crocker is the genuine article, a stone cold, complete babe of a hot mom. text it.]

Wait, what the hell is a Lil' Seb?

[potentite]

[Proud of Dave for internally admitting to his hot mom fetish.]

Oh! It's a lil' rabbit robot that Dirk built for her! One year for her birthday, we all got her stuffed bunnies. But Dirk didn't have one, so he built one. He was a feisty sort.

[oculusriffs]

[Dave's doing his best!]

We did that one time for John's birthday, too — but then they turned out to be the same bunny caught in a time loop.

[potentite]

I think ours might've been the same deal... I don't know if Dirk's was, though. I never asked. But huh, that's so funny. Who's idea was it for you guys? It was mine!

[oculusriffs]

Hard to say — mine, I guess. I gave him the bunny from Con Air for his birthday, and Rose gave him a version that was knitted, or something.

And then, going off of what Karkat's told me, both versions got sent to the past thanks to an impromptu recreation of that dumb scene from Con Air. Said he saw the whole thing.

Kinda fuzzy on the time loop details after that, but me and Rose did wind up with some sort of uber bunny on Derse.

[potentite]

I did help Jade make a special bunny at one point! He was armed to the teeth. So maybe that was him? I'm not sure what happened to that little fellow in the end. It was... bad timing. Boy howdy that was a busy day.

[oculusriffs]

Oh. I thought her name was Liv Tyler.

Well, anyway, she blew up.

[Dave, you could have at least tried to be tactful about telling Jake about a fallen comrade.]