[text/video] un: @skull

[ryuji]

[A few days after gravity is restored to the station, Ryuji returns to the mess hall from Haru's garden to find a small robot flipped upside down, panicking through a series of morse beeps and boops, which- okay, that's kind of cool, and quickly figures out that the paneling and suction entrances of the little guy means it's probably meant for filtration and cleaning.

Looks pretty study, looks... waterproof, maybe? He lends a hand to get him right side up and it starts slowly moving forward. Ryuji takes out his communicator and immediately films this as it happens, because, why not?

He posts two videos on the network- the roomba moving down the hall and one, a few hours later in the fitness center as it crawls from the edge, and dives right in.]

Oh shit! Are you supposed to do that?

Whoa, whoa- I don't know how to fix you if you--- WHOA, COOL.




Hey, sup?

Just lettin you guys know the pool looks crystal clear now. All thanks to this little dude.

I figure I should give 'em a name but uh

Everything that comes to mind is kinda lame

Anyway, I think it's good? Anyone wanna give it the first try?

[Complete with file0033.png - a picture of crystal clear water.]

Comments

[ryuji]

[He sits there, at the edge of the pool, as the texts come in, one by one. He didn't really realize he was asking for help from Dave, or even encouragement. Ryuji thinks that he's just being honest about stuff, not incredibly self-aware that the things he was saying were particularly harsh or self-deprecating. And although he's never really struggled with identity that much, he always found himself questioning purpose.

So here's Mufasa, in the clouds, looking down at the son he's left behind, a pivotal scene that changes the entire direction of the movie, gives the protagonist the will to reclaim what's always meant to be his, and Ryuji's... actually glad that he's alone right now so that he doesn't have to feel the need to brush everything off or be a stronger person than he really is.

And here's Dave, being incredibly fucking obtuse and roundabout in a message that doesn't need a metaphor scrambled on top of it to get its point across.

Incredibly obtuse, actually.

He smirks. Whatever, it's his style. Time to brute force that shit, though.]

Can't really look out of your own eyes and see much more on your face than your nose, yeah? When you're livin' in your own head it's hard to know that you're doin' anything right, but you gotta keep going anyway.

Dave... you're not that great at this stuff, so it was probably a pain to say all that

But I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that... thanks for trying to steer me to pride rock, too. I wish I coulda been there for you and your group so that I might've been able to see the world through your eyes. Kinda corny, right? Sorry.

I keep gettin the sense that whatever the hell that game was... was a lot harder and bigger than the things you wanna talk about. And it's cool. You don't have to. It's the past anyway, and that doesn't matter a whole lot.

Or maybe it does? I don't know what the hell the point of any of this shit is, honestly. So you're right. Screw being an amazing engineer, I'll keep being myself. And uh. You keep being you. I think you're pretty damn great. So if you need a Mufasa to push your ass around, let me know.

Anyway, this has seriously filled my corny meter to an astounding 110%.

[oculusriffs]

[well, at least he knows he got his point across, even if, now that he goes back and looks at that wall of text he sent, it was kind of ... lame as all get out. man, embarrassing. he doesn’t really regret it, though; after all, it’s just his usual dumb ramblings presented in the form of a pep talk. the movie reference was more topical than anything, but also, it might be a symptom of the fact that there are movie-loving dorks from back home that he’s missing.]

[and it’s a good thing Ryuji is just as, if not more, lame than Dave just was right there. he admitted to it, after all - and, maybe there’s something like a smirk on his end, too, scrolling through a reassurance that was more straightforward, but no less sincere, and no less longwinded, than his.]

yeah that was some record setting cheesiness
its fine though

[so, yeah. Ryuji’s message has been received.]

i dont mind answering questions if you have em
just cant guarantee ill have an answer for you
there was too much that never made a goddamn smidge of sense

[he says, buying himself a way out of a question that might hurt Ryuji more than inform him, just in case.]

[ryuji]

True story, there's this cheese shop not that far from Yoyogi Park back home. It has this giant cow statue in front of it, right? Uh... this is kinda hard to explain since we're communicating in some sorta shared language, but I'm assumin' you don't know Japanese.

Anyway, the word for "cow" and "delicious" kinda sound the same? And that shop's been there for pretty much since the beginning of time. So when I used to pass by it as a kid I'd freak the hell out and call the cow "delicious." Like, super embarrassingly. Top of my lungs. And mom would be like... RYUJI-KUN NO.

Man, I loved that cow.

That story had no damn point btw, but I think you oughta know just how cheesy I can actually be

[One day he'll stop saying literally whatever's on his mind. He wasn't stalling for time or pushing what Dave said aside, just that it was a seriously compelling urge to be embarrassing on multiple levels.]

Anyway, what's the craziest thing that happened? Like, if you could pinpoint one giant "screw this shit" moment.

[oculusriffs]

[........]

welp
you basically just went and outcheesed a literal cheese shop
thats a kind of talent i cant exactly argue with or deny
so congratulations

[there's a pause, though, as he thinks of how to answer that question. really, there's so many possibilities, so many things that were so completely idiotic that he had no other possible reaction but the most Dave Strider vine in existence.]

would the entire game itself count as an answer
but i dunno
powers had a way of manifesting themselves in really fucking dumb ways thanks to the games mechanics
because of a rooftop mishap i broke pretty much every single sword i came across
snapped some real legendary pieces of shit in half with the friendliest of shoves
rose also put me to sleep by lobbing a ball of yarn at my head
which she naturally used at the most inconvenient moments possible
i had to do a lot of really dumb stuff to maintain my time loops too
like go back and give my past self a thumbs up so that id go along with a plan thatd lead me to needing to give myself a thumbs up in the first place
keeping track of absurd tiny details like that is at least one reason why i quit time traveling

[ryuji]

Dude, it goes so much deeper than that. The word for "map" and "cheese" are also really, really close. So if you ever needed to find your way out of a cheesy situation...

Nevermind this is getting embarrassing

[And then he slams on the brakes.]

Wait

Is Rose an olympic knitter?

[This is relevant, I swear.]

[oculusriffs]

what
i guess if your idea of olympic knitting includes harnessing an ogre by its face with a pair of knitting needles and yarn and riding it down a magic rainbow waterfall like a theme park ride
then yeah rose is probably the best in her class
she also knitted a laptop cozy and modified this stuffed bunny that got caught in a really stupid time loop
i never understood the laptop cozy thing though
why the fuck would a laptop need a cozy
its a laptop not an afternoon teapot you serve with scones and other british stereotypes
but i never understood half the shit she got at anyhow
seers are notorious for being infuriatingly mysterious and obtuse

[ryuji]

Shit.

Yeah, I gotta look into another Olympic sport. She'd give the grannies a run for their money and I'm not even at their level yet.

What's wrong with laptop cozies?

They sound kinda cute tbh

Keep them nice and warm

Safe

Soft

You sound like you could use a smartwatch cozy

[oculusriffs]

[Ryuji you sassy piece of shit!]

oh god no not you too
look
theyre already warm by virtue of having working computer parts
the cozys just a pointless layer of yarn that gets in the way
its not cozy at all its just extraneous
and now youve got me thinking about how youd even make a cozy fit over a watch
so thanks for that

[ryuji]

Dave

Isn't life just a bunch of pointless yarn layers that get in the way

[Sitting there, effectively smirking his ass off and delving into matters of anti-theoretical and actual string theory.]

Anyway, I bet it's possible. It's just like a little sock for the band and a flap for the screen

Keeps it nice and cozy

[oculusriffs]

holy shit
i cant believe youre philosophizing at me over a snuggly cover for a computer
this is probably the most ridiculous conversation weve ever had
assumin you dont have more weird words of wisdom to throw out there anyway

[ryuji]

I'm full of it

[wait...]

Deep thoughts and shit

[Full of... shit

Ryuji, what are you-]

So can I take you down for 2 orders of watch cozies or are you just pullin my leg

The good one btw

The other one can suck it

[oculusriffs]

dont you mean pebbles of bullshit
but yeah ok ill bet you on that
if you can figure out how to knit a watch cozy ill make sure my smartwatch is unnecessarily dressed for winter

[ryuji]

[It's filled him with a determination unlike no other.

Just to prove Dave wrong. To test the limits and break through.]

Your prototype watch is going to be the most fashionable damn thing on this station

Just wait

People are gonna line up out my door beggin' for em

Oh, what's that? Sorry. I know there's a lot of demand, but this is an exclusive item. I could wait list you, but it'll take super long and I don't wanna let anyone down.

[oculusriffs]

[and if he's somehow proven wrong, Dave will still definitely wear it. this is the kid who never takes off a pair of sunglasses because his best friend gave them to him, after all.]

alright then versace
ill be waiting to see what sorta fashion you come up with

[ryuji]

Dw it'll all be gucci