[text/video] un: @skull

[ryuji]

[A few days after gravity is restored to the station, Ryuji returns to the mess hall from Haru's garden to find a small robot flipped upside down, panicking through a series of morse beeps and boops, which- okay, that's kind of cool, and quickly figures out that the paneling and suction entrances of the little guy means it's probably meant for filtration and cleaning.

Looks pretty study, looks... waterproof, maybe? He lends a hand to get him right side up and it starts slowly moving forward. Ryuji takes out his communicator and immediately films this as it happens, because, why not?

He posts two videos on the network- the roomba moving down the hall and one, a few hours later in the fitness center as it crawls from the edge, and dives right in.]

Oh shit! Are you supposed to do that?

Whoa, whoa- I don't know how to fix you if you--- WHOA, COOL.




Hey, sup?

Just lettin you guys know the pool looks crystal clear now. All thanks to this little dude.

I figure I should give 'em a name but uh

Everything that comes to mind is kinda lame

Anyway, I think it's good? Anyone wanna give it the first try?

[Complete with file0033.png - a picture of crystal clear water.]

Comments

[ryuji]

Dude, it goes so much deeper than that. The word for "map" and "cheese" are also really, really close. So if you ever needed to find your way out of a cheesy situation...

Nevermind this is getting embarrassing

[And then he slams on the brakes.]

Wait

Is Rose an olympic knitter?

[This is relevant, I swear.]

[oculusriffs]

what
i guess if your idea of olympic knitting includes harnessing an ogre by its face with a pair of knitting needles and yarn and riding it down a magic rainbow waterfall like a theme park ride
then yeah rose is probably the best in her class
she also knitted a laptop cozy and modified this stuffed bunny that got caught in a really stupid time loop
i never understood the laptop cozy thing though
why the fuck would a laptop need a cozy
its a laptop not an afternoon teapot you serve with scones and other british stereotypes
but i never understood half the shit she got at anyhow
seers are notorious for being infuriatingly mysterious and obtuse

[ryuji]

Shit.

Yeah, I gotta look into another Olympic sport. She'd give the grannies a run for their money and I'm not even at their level yet.

What's wrong with laptop cozies?

They sound kinda cute tbh

Keep them nice and warm

Safe

Soft

You sound like you could use a smartwatch cozy

[oculusriffs]

[Ryuji you sassy piece of shit!]

oh god no not you too
look
theyre already warm by virtue of having working computer parts
the cozys just a pointless layer of yarn that gets in the way
its not cozy at all its just extraneous
and now youve got me thinking about how youd even make a cozy fit over a watch
so thanks for that

[ryuji]

Dave

Isn't life just a bunch of pointless yarn layers that get in the way

[Sitting there, effectively smirking his ass off and delving into matters of anti-theoretical and actual string theory.]

Anyway, I bet it's possible. It's just like a little sock for the band and a flap for the screen

Keeps it nice and cozy

[oculusriffs]

holy shit
i cant believe youre philosophizing at me over a snuggly cover for a computer
this is probably the most ridiculous conversation weve ever had
assumin you dont have more weird words of wisdom to throw out there anyway

[ryuji]

I'm full of it

[wait...]

Deep thoughts and shit

[Full of... shit

Ryuji, what are you-]

So can I take you down for 2 orders of watch cozies or are you just pullin my leg

The good one btw

The other one can suck it

[oculusriffs]

dont you mean pebbles of bullshit
but yeah ok ill bet you on that
if you can figure out how to knit a watch cozy ill make sure my smartwatch is unnecessarily dressed for winter

[ryuji]

[It's filled him with a determination unlike no other.

Just to prove Dave wrong. To test the limits and break through.]

Your prototype watch is going to be the most fashionable damn thing on this station

Just wait

People are gonna line up out my door beggin' for em

Oh, what's that? Sorry. I know there's a lot of demand, but this is an exclusive item. I could wait list you, but it'll take super long and I don't wanna let anyone down.

[oculusriffs]

[and if he's somehow proven wrong, Dave will still definitely wear it. this is the kid who never takes off a pair of sunglasses because his best friend gave them to him, after all.]

alright then versace
ill be waiting to see what sorta fashion you come up with

[ryuji]

Dw it'll all be gucci