reverienet | o2. spinning wheels (video; un: burton)

[ The camera filming is the one from the console in the wall of the garden, the one that Haru put together. It shows Amos, fingers brushing along the plants hooked together along the wall. He has a smile on his face, and his touch seems incredibly gentle, his lips parted as he looks at the greenery. ]

Have you ever seen something more amazing? These plants are keeping us alive. Literally. Scrubbing up the air we breathe, putting it back out as something we can use. They take so much work, so much patience, so much knowledge. To keep them alive, help them grow. So amazing.

[ He stops, his face closing up all of a sudden. His jaw ticks with a muscle under the beard, and his hands turn into fists. He pulls away from the wall. It seems like a sudden change in mood, something like a switch has been flipped, all of a sudden. His posture tenses, his eyes start stinging. ]

This place is killing us. It's - it's killed my friend, already. He's more than a friend, really. He's my brother.

[ If you've met Amos, had a chat with him, you might realize that this video is pretty... well, unlike him. He doesn't seem to really recognize that fact, though, looking straight at the camera with his eyes slightly teary. ]

Be careful. This station does shit to us. [ Pause. Amos wipes at his eyes. Sniffles. ] Oh and by the way, guys, it's a station, not a ship. Don't make me say it again.

[ He doesn't sound angry, even when he says this, tired of having to repeat himself. There's a suspicious complete lack of anger throughout the whole entry. ]

Seriously, we need to get off this barge. All of us. If you think there's nothing you can do, I promise you, there is. We gotta work together.

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No. I'm fine, nothing's weird. Just woke up, feeling... all sorts of ways. One moment I want to laugh and the next minute I want to cry.

[ Amos frowns. ]

Is that how you feel all the time?

All sorts of ways, huh. [ He says it with a careful, but companionable tone, as if trying to get Amos to talk about it while he heads there. ]

I mean - can't say I've never gone from laughin' to cryin' that fast, but - no, it ain't how I feel all the time.

[ He paused - speech-wise, at least. He was still making pretty good time down to where Amos was. ]

Is there - is there somethin' in particular that you're thinkin' about, when you end up feelin' all sorts of ways? Other than - other than what you already said, I mean.

Just - what happened to you. Trying to understand. Trying to understand why this place would suck in someone like Prax, when he's just looking for his little girl. For his life to get back on track. Doesn't feel fair, you know? And it's not fair that you - [ he pauses. Whenever he says it, he sees it in his head all over again, and it makes him sick. ]

It's just unfair. There are kids around here, barely out of their teens. The fuck are they doing here? It feels like there's no escape.

[ Has Amos ever talked this much about what he's feeling? ]

[ No. He hasn't. Which is why, even though he empathises almost too much with the words, he's still incredibly worried. ]

Ain't ever heard you despair like that before, Brother.

... When you saw the uh - the video the first time. Did you feel like this then, too?

No. No, it wasn't like that. It got to me, but not - not like that.

[ Amos has not felt this way in... forever. He's never felt that way. ]

I don't know, Alex.

Alrigh'. Just sit tight.

[ It was only another minute, before Alex appeared in the flesh, looking worried. ]

Hey, hoss. You alright? [ He stepped over, eyes searching quickly. ] You feel anything else, beyond the uh - the head stuff? Any physical symptoms?

[ Amos smiles, reaching out and patting Alex's cheek when he walks close, wanting to wipe off the frown off of Alex's face. ]

I'm fine, brother. Completely fine. Promise.

[ It's weird, the disconnect he feels between being honestly relieved by seeing Amos smile like that - he didn't smile like that very often - and the weird disconcerting fact that Amos had literally been crying a few minutes ago so he really shouldn't be smiling like that.

So he doesn't stop frowning.

Instead he reaches out to touch Amos's forehead to see if he has a fever or something, and looks at a loss when he doesn't. ]

I ain't sure you can promise that, Amos. You don't seem fine.

What are you talking about?

[ Amos frowns against Alex's hand, giving him an unimpressed look. ]

I'm not your kid, Alex. What's so wrong with what I've said that you're so worried?

You're whiplashin' through emotions faster than a ping pong ball. [ Does Mars have ping pong? Who knows. It does now. ]

That ain't normal for anyone, but it sure as hell ain't normal for you. Almost seems like a hormone I'm imbalance or somethin'. You eat anything weird?

[ You know, he hasn't thought about it, until it's put right in front of him in clear terms. He really is feeling... a lot of things. Maybe it's because he's so unused to it that he keeps on shifting from one to the next, not knowing what to do with either. He looks down, feeling almost... sheepish? Is that how that feels like? ]

Not that I can recall. Just the usual protein shit.

[ He lets a breath out of his nose and then looks at Amos a little helplessly. ]

Well... hell if I know. You ain't hearin' anything weird, or seein' anything, right?

Nope. No voices in my head aside from my own. No hallucinations. Nothing.

[ Amos grins, a little crooked, before sobering up. ]

Gotta say it's a little... much.

Yeah, it sounds it. [ For his part, Alex sounded sympathetic, but also at a total loss.

He just didn't know how to help, or what had caused it in the first place. ]

Guess we'll just have to - wait it out. See if your mood starts to even out.

What do I do in the meantime? I feel like I should sit in a dark corner and stare at a wall to keep myself from saying, or doing the wrong thing.

[ He makes a noise of dismay. ]

Shit, this stuff is irritating.

Nah, you don't have to do that. Though maybe no more network posts, for a bit.

[ He paused, before looking over at Prax's plants. ]

Why don't we just work on the plants, for a while? I ain't gonna hold anything you say against you, specially now that I know what's goin' on.

[ Amos takes a moment, but then nods, slow. He likes the idea of having Alex close, just to be able to keep an eye out for him. ]

Yeah. Okay, let's do that. But if you ruin any of them, I'll have to sic the doc on you.

[ He offers a warm - if edged with worry - smile. ]

And I would take that punishment with full gravity, I promise you.

o2. spinning wheels (video; un: burton)

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/end scene?