un: mori | text

[setpoint]

Hello everyone.

Recently I found something in my room. It seems to be some sort of diagnostic tool that can connect to the consoles. Most of them are missing a lot of data, and some are malfunctioning, but I did learn a few useful things.

First, the consoles and life support systems were reactivated the same day we woke up. A significant amount of data is corrupted, so the tool didn't give me a current date, only the number of days since then. It seems like the station was shut down completely before we arrived.

Second, the last time those systems were fully functioning was 2654. It didn't give me a month, and I don't know how long ago that was, but it is a baseline.

[Not a very pleasant one for her, but it's something.]

The good news is, the life support systems seem to be running properly. It hasn't picked up any issues.

Comments

un: tekimang

[tekimetexeng]

I guess there's no sense questioning if it's really Earth years, considering how far out we must be.

Where are you?

[donkeyballs]

Up on the Command Deck.

Though seriously considerin' the bar.

People found Earth books, from the last crew. So if it ain't Earth years, it's a count startin' from somewhere else, after they got there.

[tekimetexeng]

Earth books? Then... bar. Definitely bar. Meet me there, alright?

[donkeyballs]

Yeah. Moby Dick, apparently.

I'll be there in ten.

> action, rebelling all over this post

[tekimetexeng]

[ Hm. She's never read it, but the book itself doesn't actually matter. It's that it's actually something from Earth, indicating that whoever built this station had at least been there if not a shared heritage. And all the recordings and ghosts they'd come across looked human, so.

Wonderful.

Naomi doesn't respond to that message, just heads up to the bar herself and claims one of the remaining bottles (someone's going to have to figure out how to replicate more booze soon), some glasses, and then a table in the corner. A different one than where she'd sat Alex down after his recent trauma, for what it's worth, though at this rate they're going to poison the entire room. And she waits. She only beat him by a couple minutes, and when Alex appears in the doorway she beckons him over and starts pouring. ]

Sit.

[donkeyballs]

[ He sat down without even a second thought, leaning his elbows on the table. He looked fine. Or, well, he was trying to look fine. He was expecting a captain-y speech, if he was honest. Something about how times were hard but that they were all in this together and they needed to focus on the hear and now and worry about the past later. Something like that.

He wasn't sure if he wanted it or not, but Naomi had a pretty strong tendency of making him feel better, so. He was hoping this would.

He reaches out and takes the glass when she's finished with it, then holds it up as if expecting her to tap it with her own. ]

[tekimetexeng]

[ She does, in fact, tap her own glass to his, and takes a sip. If the alcohol here were more palatable she'd be going much faster, but it's better not to be overwhelmed.

There is no prepared captain-y speech, though. Not even an un-captain-y one. She just wanted to talk to someone who'd understand, and things are rough with Prax at the moment. Besides, he's... a good, present father. It's a little different. But at least with him she wouldn't have had to explain why she was so distressed at the moment. Not from scratch, at least. ]

Back on the Cant... none of us really talked about our pasts, you know? I think most of us, if not all of us, were running from one thing or another.

[donkeyballs]

[ His brows furrow a little as he glances at her, not totally sure where she's going with this. It wasn't the start of the speech he'd been expecting, anyway. ]

... Don't think any of us were out there because life was peachy keen, no. [ Acknowledging, but then waiting for her to continue. ]

[tekimetexeng]

[ No, it's... basically the opposite of the speech he'd been expecting. Because it's true, they have to focus on the now, but sometimes you need to remember the past. It informs who you are, after all. But she doesn't seem ready to spill, just yet. Instead she circles her finger on the rim of her glass and manages a tiny smile for him, eyes sad but warm. ]

Tell me about Melas. What was he like, as a baby?

[donkeyballs]

[ Oh.

He sank, a little, eyes falling to his glass as he traced the rim of it with the pad of this thumb. ]

Cute. Cutest thing in the damn world.

But I'll be honest, Naomi. It ain't like I saw much of him. I was still in the Navy, at that point. It ain't like we had a hell of a lot of shore-leave. He didn't even recognise me, between visits.

[tekimetexeng]

What about a little older, then? I don't know if you-- did you call home, much? The way you treasured that picture we all figured you did.

[ Her eyes go a little unfocused, now, like she's not quite looking at Alex. ]

I'd want to know... what he wanted to be when he grew up. If he ever learned to like green vegetables. Just how tall he got...

[ It's almost like she's not talking about Melas at all. ]

[donkeyballs]

[ Every word lays a brick on his soul, though he tries not to let it show. ]

... When I finished my twenty, I took a planet-side desk job, so I could stay with 'em. [ His voice is quiet, and it's low. He doesn't say: We were expecting our second child. That's one grief too far. ]

I tried my best to connect with 'im, but I just - hell, Naomi, he didn't know me. He just wanted to hear about pirates and battles, and I ain't never done any of that. MCRN never let me near their bad ass gunships, and that's all he cared about. So I'd - I'd lie. Tell 'im stories of adventures that never happened. And those were the only times he seemed interested in me at all.

[ He sighed, before taking a long, slow drink. ]

I couldn't stay. It was killin' me, and I just -

I called sometimes. Pretty rarely. Then after the Donnager... not at all.

[tekimetexeng]

[ She goes quiet for a moment, remembering that. Thinking that maybe, just because he could, he should send them a message anyway. But she hadn't been willing to tell him that, back then, it wasn't her place and it would've invited questions she didn't want to answer. Now, though? Now it wasn't an option. They were all long gone. ]

Well. A miserable father isn't better than a memory. Sometimes... we have to do what's best for ourselves. There's no other option, because if we stay, it just goes badly for everyone.

[ A long drink to finish her glass and she's pouring again, offering to refill his as well. ]

Still. You hope they turn out alright without you.

[donkeyballs]

[ Okay. Okay, he's not that oblivious, that he's isn't picking up on the way she keeps saying we. He turns his head, watching her with furrowed brows, then carefully says: ]

Yeah. Yeah, you do.

I know he's better off with his Mom than he'd ever be with me. Space ain't a place for a kid.

[ He's not calling her out for the 'we' thing, yet, but he is paying more close attention. ]

[tekimetexeng]

[ Good on Alex! She's about to be much less subtle, though, so brace for it friendo. ]

I don't know. You're probably right, but you know I grew up on ships. It wasn't much worse than the slums for gravity, and better for just about everything else. And with the state of things...

[ Deep breath, Naomi, you can do it. ]

If I could have, I would have taken him with me. For better or worse.

[donkeyballs]

[ There's a long pause, where Alex just watches her, and wrestles with several different, overlapping feelings at the same time.

Shock, first - because he's known Naomi for years, and has never heard about her ever having a son. Confusion, for the same reason.

And then a deep deep empathy and sorrow, as his heart reached out to her.

But he had absolutely no idea what to say. So he only got out a single word, voice laden with the depth of emotion he was feeling: ]

... Naomi...

[tekimetexeng]

[ All of those emotions make perfect sense, and she watches them flicker through Alex's eyes as this new information settles. ]

The Martians weren't completely wrong, back on the Donnager... I had ties to the OPA. His father. I thought I didn't have to be involved, and then something happened that I couldn't live with. And he took Filip away from me, and I had to run.

I didn't want to leave my son, either. I thought maybe you'd understand that best.

[donkeyballs]

God, Naomi... I'm so sorry...

[ He is, for multiple reasons. Sorry for her loss. For not having known. For thinking he was alone in his pain - or at least alone with Prax - and for any time he accidentally rubbed his own issues in her face, while being completely oblivious to hers. It broke his heart. ]

Christ, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

[tekimetexeng]

[ Hey now, he didn't know because she never told him. She's private like that. There were plenty of times it could have come up, but she'd kept quiet. And there's more to it, but no point in dredging it up. The important part is that she had a son, she'd had to leave him, and now she knows he's gone. Same as Alex. ]

Neither would I. But I hope he grew up well even without me. Melas too.

[ She raises her glass again. ]

Yam seng.

[donkeyballs]

[ His chin wobbles, just for a second, before he swallows and grits his teeth and finds his backbone. Then he carefully raises his glass, tipping it towards hers but not touching. ]

Yam seng.

[ And Amen. ]

[tekimetexeng]

[ They have to be strong. She'll probably break down and cry for awhile back in her quarters once it settles, but right now the sadness is only in her eyes. ]

I'd say we should invite Prax, but if he hasn't seen Mako's post yet...

[ Well, she doesn't want to be the one to break that news. ]

[donkeyballs]

[ He considered it for a minute, and then carefully, solemnly said: ]

He's gotta know, boss. Better it come from us.

[tekimetexeng]

[ Naomi sighs softly. He's right, of course, and she owes him one already. Best to break it to him themselves if he hasn't seen. ]

Right once again. I guess I'll be brave for a change.

[ She taps her communicator, calling Prax to ask him to come meet them at the bar. ]

[contorta]

( prax's been in the garden, not checking the network. he has a tendency to lose himself in plants and it helps, here and now. it's a good distraction. but the call comes and he makes his way over to the bar. he doesn't know what he'd expected, but the picture of alex and naomi drinking alone isn't it. )

Hello.

[tekimetexeng]

[ In the time it took Prax to get to the bar, Naomi has fetched another glass, and it sits before an empty seat at their table. Nothing in it yet, She doesn't actually even know if Prax drinks, but in this scenario the option seemed like a good idea.

She nudges the chair out with her foot and gives a little nod towards it. ]

Wa koming gut, Prax. Join us?

[ Welcome, she says, but neither of them look happy. In fact, they're both visibly upset, though Naomi has a much better poker face. ]