[ Video ][ un: icansmokemyself ]

[autorejoin]

[ There's a bleached blond teenager lying on what is almost certainly the floor in one of the hallways, long and stringy hair splayed out underneath himself. He's got his communicator pointed down at him, addressing the network at large. ]

Hey! So— space station, love what you're doing with the place, it's got a great "creepy and haunted" feeling to it! Top-fucking-marks for ambiance! Less fond of the clothes, even alarmingly less fond of whatever asshole decided it was funny to leave my my cigarettes but no fucking lighter.

I have no map so I have no idea where the fuck I even am or how big this place is, but the first person to find me and get me a lighter gets an IOU of epic fucking proportions. Payment's negotiable.

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[autorejoin]

[ The teen's face twists in annoyance. ]

Dealing with everyone telling me not to smoke is just making me need one more.

[ Is it frustration or spite? Probably a mixture. ]

And I really don't care about the "negative effects of cigarettes" right now.

[unshielding]

Well maybe you should care about the fact that we have limited clean air up here and no way to leave right now.

[ And Steve isn't going to let one person's selfish actions put everyone else in danger. ]

[autorejoin]

Look, guy, here's the thing— I get that you're like, trying to be considerate or some shit. But have you ever been through nicotine withdrawal? Because it's one of the most miserable things in the universe.

[unshielding]

If that's the most miserable thing you've experienced in life, you might want to think about how lucky you really are.

[autorejoin]

[ The teen doesn't say anything, at least not as far as words go— he just straight-up starts incredulously laughing so hard he's having difficulty breathing. ]

[unshielding]

If you're going to act like a child, we're all going to treat you like one.

[autorejoin]

[ He's still laughing, he might be hysterical right now. ]

Oh no! Some arrogant, muscle-headed moron thinks I'm a child! Whatever will I fucking do!?

[ Katou shakes his head. ]

Look asshole, I could play the fucking misery Olympics if I wanted, but that would require me to give a shit about your opinion. If all you want to do is lecture me, then you can just fuck right off to wherever you came from. "I don't think you should smoke—" Opinion. Fucking. Noted!

[unshielding]

[ Steve's jaw tenses. He's doing his best to reign himself in here. ]

Let me make something very clear: If you get someone else hurt, I will deal with you myself. You want arrogance, you can go look in a mirror.

[autorejoin]

[ Katou rolls his eyes. ]

It's not like I'm gonna go around beating the shit out of people unless they go after me first, so I think you're getting ahead of yourself, guy. Just 'cause most of you people are assholes doesn't mean I'm trying to pick a fight.

[unshielding]

But you have no problem doing something that could cause the system that filters the air up here to malfunction while we're all trapped in space. You're putting your comfort ahead of everyone else's safety. The only asshole here is you.

[autorejoin]

Hey, did you know! That there's more than enough asshole to go around! Because I promise you, Holier-Than-Thou-Guy, that you're being a massive-fucking-asshole yourself right now. Me being an asshole! Does not negate! You being an asshole!

[unshielding]

I don't really care if you like me as long as you're not endangering anyone.

[autorejoin]

Oh good, I was worried you were running for Mister Congeniality! You would've been a contender for last place for sure.

[ Katou rolls his eyes expressively. ]

Anyway, I only endanger people when they start shit with me first. I'm an asshole, you see, but I'm not interested in starting shit.