( text. un: @r.asuka )

[luciformis]

Hello.

As several before me have noted: given our circumstances, it is more crucial now than ever before that we cooperate and share any relevant information that could be of benefit to us all. However, the accessibility of this knowledge is also essential. If we have no sense of organization, then we add unnecessary frustration at least and risk at most.

I've accumulated a list of known locations and some general statistical information, which I encourage you to add to at your discretion. I believe it would be in our best interests to know the following about each of you as well:

1. Please list your name and ID.
2. Do you have any medical, technical, or mechanical skills?
3. Do you have any advanced skills in another area that you think would be of assistance?
4. Would you be comfortable using these skills if asked?

Also, I've taken the liberty to sort out how to increase security protocols. If you wish to know how this works, feel free to contact me here or privately.

Thank you.

[ ooc: So, head's up! Permission was granted to have Ryo fix up these filters for you all, but here's your catch (if you're interested): Ryo will be leaving a security loophole or "backdoor" as it were for himself (with your permission) to easily exploit so his ability to eavesdrop will be maximized. Please refer to his permission's post here if you're fine with him doing as much.

Also, if your character wouldn't agree to this? Please refer to the permissions anyhow if you eventually might be interested in this kind of technological eavesdropping. Thank you! ]

Comments

[ryuji]

Uh... no, I mean like

I don't plan on walkin up to him with a cow brander or whatever they're called and stamping PROPERTY OF RYUJI on it or anything

That'd be kinda mean

And I like the guy, honestly

[wingstosee]

[ that is TOTALLY NOT WHAT SHE MEANT, ryuji, and you know it. (he actually probably doesn't. god, this poor gay disaster.) ]

i guess that works for me??
just. i mean.

actually, never mind?
you're good to go. thumbs up.

[ryuji]

Wait...

Say what you mean

I mean, if you wanna

[The worst gay disaster.]

[wingstosee]

um. well
if you're sure...
it sounded kind of like

okay look
you were talking about claiming his ass.
with your manliness.
in one of the bedrooms.
it looked.
kind of...

do i really need to spell it out :(

[ryuji]

[Oh. So maybe, looking back, it was a little more insinuating than he thought it was, and for a moment, Ryuji looks back to the entire string of conversation that led up to this and...

yeah, he can see it that way now, too.]

I guess I coulda chosen better words

I dunno why I said it that way, it just kinda felt natural to me

Most of the time I just say whatever pops into my head

Sorry, I ain't really good at this stuff

Don't get me wrong or anything, he's a good lookin guy and everything but like

Sorry, this is kinda awkward, isn't it? My bad. :(

--> private

[wingstosee]

no!!!
oh no
don't apologize!!!
i wasn't trying to say it was BAD or anything
it was just. it seemed

[ he's even calling akira good-looking. this guy... isn't at all who she wanted to be pointing this conversation out to.

so after some fumbling, she switches to the handy-dandy private. ]

maybe it wasn't what you meant
but even if it was you shouldn't apologize!
akira's really cute. i don't blame you at all
or i guess i wouldn't? i don't really know

i just um
i think there's someone he likes already?
and i don't want things to get too awkward for you :(

[ryuji]

[This is a really weird position for Ryuji to be in. He reads Venus' texts, over and over again. A lot of things flash through his head all at once, and he can't seem to pick apart the important stuff, other than the prevailing, complex feeling of not... really understanding himself at a fundamental level.

He's kind of angry, too- for several reasons, because Ryuji's angry a lot of the time and has no outlet for those sorts of pervasive thoughts. It's a comfortable go-to when there are conflicts that he doesn't have an answer for; remnants of a childhood rife with misunderstanding and various abuses.

And it goes something like:

1. Venus is assuming that he has feelings for other guys to begin with, which
2. It's something he's quietly battled with for a long time, and
3. He's still fucked up over two older men sketchily trying to hit on him in Shinjuku and pulling his insecurities out of him into broad daylight around his friends when he wasn't ready to deal with that stuff, but
4. He's kind of kicking himself that he said the things he said, because he wasn't sure that's how he meant it to begin with, and it creates a circular loop because,
5. The more he thinks about it, the more of an abyss this opens up into and he's caught questioning himself again, and
6. Even if that were the case, and he admittedly did find Akira attractive,
7. No one really wants Ryuji Sakamoto in that way to begin with; he knows it, deep down at the core he's not a person that people naturally love, finally leading to
8. In the slim 1% chance that there was flirting going on, of course it would be with someone who's already In The Hearts with Someone Else.
9. He just ends up hating himself a little bit more, and
10. He'll play it off like it was bullshit to begin with.

Huh?

Oh, man. No, it's cool.

I don't swing that way to begin with, so it's not like anything would come outta it anyway

And if he likes someone he should tell 'em

That's how this works, yeah?

[He'll figure it out one day.]

[wingstosee]

[ holy shit, ryuji. that's what venus would be saying if she had any idea of that wall of introspection? but instead, she just sort of... takes him at his word. not because she believes him, but because if that's what he wants her to believe, it's easier to just do it for him. ]

oh! haha. sorry, i shouldn't have assumed.
and maybe? i mean. it's not always that easy.
i sort of wish it was, though.

[ryuji]

[It's better for the both of them, so even if she saw through the bullshit, he's okay with that. It makes it easier to cope with being so dysfunctional.]

You got some experience in that department?

Every time I end up trying to talk someone up I get all dumb and end up ruining it, haha

[He does like you though, Venus. An awful lot.]

[wingstosee]

well...
not exactly?
there was a girl i was going to ask out once, but i sort of gave up on the idea.
like, there was no way. you know? haha.
it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

and... i don't really know what me and jupiter and neptune are
but i definitely didn't have to ask them out.
things just sort of. happened?
maybe that's what'll happen with you
one day things will be different, and you'll get drunk, and suddenly you're making out and pulling off each other's skin so you can see the people beneath.

i hope it's like that, at least.

[ VENUS THAT'S VERY ROMANTIC WITH CONTEXT BUT RIGHT NOW YOU SOUND LIKE A SERIAL KILLER ]

[ryuji]

Yeah, I know what you mean

I mean

The whole "knowing there's no way" kinda thing. Been there, it kinda sucks.

[Holy shit, Venus???]

Jupiter and Neptune are planets

Hahah... Just kiddin

I just didn't know what to say about ripping flesh off of each other so uh that's where... I landed...

I kinda get it though, in a metaphor type of way? I pulled a mask off once that was stuck on my face and it kinda felt like that. Y'know... seeing what's underneath everything. Even if yours mighta? been more literal?

Did it hurt

[wingstosee]

yeah and they're also the devil
which is way cooler than being a planet??
so i'm going to stick with that. :P

and yeah, it's a lot like that.
everything kind of just... falls away?
worry and sadness and pain. it's just gone for a moment
and you're there with people you love more than anything

[ "more literal??" well that's confusing. of course it was literal? ]

i mean, not for me?
my old body didn't even have blood in it. haha.
it just sort of... peeled off?
have you ever eaten a hardboiled egg? it's like that but with skin and arms and pieces.
i think it might have hurt for jupiter, though. she bled a lot?
like it probably wouldn't have gone everywhere if it wasn't floating. haha.

[ryuji]

[Okay, so Ryuji's had some trippy conversations in his life before, but this is steadily taking the cake as the weirdest, most morose thing he's ever talked about in his entire life.

But at the same time, it's fucking fascinating and he's glued onto it like a moth climbing up to fluorescent lighting.]

Sounds like the connection you guys have

It's real

I dunno another word for it

But shit, if anyone could experience that shit sign me up

When it comes down to it, like... honestly, I'm just a ball of anxiety and discomfort and I never figured out how the hell to deal with it I guess

[Venus is the first person he's ever told that to. He leaves out the anger management issues, since it's... well, how he copes and it's easy to read.]

Kinda funny how you say it's like a hardboiled egg, y'know? Because those sorta things are dead chickens

You?

Man, no way. You hatched right outta that thing, wings and all. Freakin beautiful is what it is.

I

I uh, you know. I mean that platonically

[wingstosee]

yeah! yeah. it's real and it's amazing.

[ she reads over everything else he has to say - all of it. and it's kind of a lot? but... she wants to offer what she can. more than anything. so she thinks, and she thinks, and a few minutes later she finally types the rest of her response. ]

and
maybe you can.

it's not the same here. i can't promise that much
things feel different, and there aren't any radios, and maybe god can't even see where we are.
but i'm the devil. right?
i am the devil, and that doesn't change in a space station or a summer camp or anywhere.

so... maybe it's not the same.
maybe i can't make your blood unwind, or your skin hatch, or the tar melt out of you until you run clean?
even if i wish i could. so bad.
so bad it kind of hurts to even think about?
i wish i could reach inside you and just... pull all the parts hurting you away.
until you're crisp and clear and everything feels right.

but if i can't do that, i can at least listen. and try to help. right?

[ryuji]

[If he were raised in a more religious family, maybe this would be a conversation that rattles down to the brittle surface edges of his soul, makes him fear for his life and the world that comes after his body leaves everything behind. The devil. The charismatic devil, you know? Pointy sticks, fire and brimstone.

Except, whoever thought that shit up was clearly high on the smell of their own self-righteous farts, because none of that is a single thing he reads from Venus' end. If god's love (and Ryuji had experienced this first hand) was a light that poisoned your own sense of freedom, then fuck it. Bring the darkness on.

He's touched. And he doesn't know how to respond to any of this because he feels himself getting over emotional at all this. Always too emotional, never able to hold himself back.]

Yeah

I'd like that

Cause man

Man does it fucking hurt

[wingstosee]

i know.
i know just how much it hurts.

find me any time you need me. okay?
i can't fix everything. but i can try

[ and she means every word of that. because even if she's only just met him- she knows him. just a tiny bit of him, these bits he's put forward of himself.

she wonders what it would have been like, to have met him back home instead. maybe she could have been the devil for him. maybe she could have coaxed him out, let him breathe without all the chains weighing him down. but if she can't do that here, she can offer what she has instead. ]

[ryuji]

[When you're slighted so many times by people in life it's hard to just accept that there are those out there who have naturally good intentions, but Venus seems to breeze through all of that without even trying.]

Thanks

And

Sorry that I'm so broken and in need of fixing to begin with

It's not all on you, too

I'll try to be better person

[wingstosee]

oh my god? haha.
you're sounding kind of like me.
you don't have to apologize for it, you know!
i mean, you can if you want to? don't let me stop you.
but you never have to.

and besides, we're all kind of broken, i think.
the people who aren't even a little broken are the ones nobody can stand to be around.

[ryuji]

True

I mean... there are also a lot of people out there who pretend that they're not when they really are, deep down inside... and do really horrible things because of it

Those sort of people with wicked hearts... abusing kids, blackmailing people, plagiarizing the work of artists, taking advantage of their workers, taking over the entire country just to run it like it's some goddamn game

Yeah, let's just say I've been around 'em a lot

[wingstosee]

mm... are they broken, though?
it sounds like they're working just like they want to.
the real assholes are the ones who are so sure they've never been wrong, ever, a day in their life.
i'm not really sure they're broken? maybe they're just... built like that.
built to be assholes by the biggest asshole in the universe.

haha. asshole
it doesn't even look like a word anymore

[ryuji]

[Kind of a different twist on perspective here. He worked meticulously to steal their hearts, reform them, push them back into society after they've been torn apart and put back together by his team's thievery. His discussions with their inner shadows has always lead them to believe that they knew they were corrupted, but he never asked whether or not they actually wanted to be saved, deep down inside. The result was always the same, so he assumed that the anomaly within them was the broken part. That he could, and would, make them whole again.

He doesn't want to stress on that. It's a larger piece of the pie that he needs to understand who he is in relation to the things that he's done... moral or not.]

Dude like... any word if you say it over and over again doesn't really look right

Although, not gonna lie, I've never looked an asshole before and thought that it was anything but an asshole

Like it kind of fits

There's no other word for em

[wingstosee]

i guess that's true? i haven't really tried it.
maybe i shouldn't. i kind of like being able to read :)

but yeah.
sometimes people are just assholes.
even if they don't mean to be

[ryuji]

Let's say you had like

I dunno

The power to change people without them wanting to

Would you do it?

Does it make change anything to say like... you know they're gonna cause themselves or others harm?

[wingstosee]

[ she doesn't even have to think about it. the answer's immediate. ]

no. i wouldn't.
maybe that's kind of cowardly of me? haha.
like, you could probably save a lot of lives by doing that.
but...

i wouldn't feel right.
i'd hate myself if i did that. haha

[ryuji]

[Well, shit.]

I mean, yeah. Makes sense.

[The first spark... that first heart they stole, that set the entirety of things in motion... Ryuji doesn't regret it? But he also doesn't know how he should feel otherwise. Maybe this is what villains do. To say the least, they were all criminals.]