un: thief | video

[mitsubishis]

[A shitty-looking teenager appears on-screen, wearing sunglasses despite the obvious lack of sun in his cabin, dressed in a white tracksuit rather than the standard-issue uniform, smoking a cigarette like he's not even on a space station with maybe limited oxygen supply. He gestures at the camera as if he's already mid-conversation with the audience, amicable and Balkan, just like his accent:]

You miss some shit from back home, right? Whatever you had before whoever-the-fuck ripped it off you. Or, like, maybe some shit you didn't even have before, but you want it now, anyway. What I'm saying is: What're you missing? If your genie or your fairy godmother or whatever came around, what would you ask for?

Comments

[mitsubishis]

What the fuck? Really?

[He is genuinely surprised. How could Disney fail him like this?]

[dumbstruck]

Pretty sure. They just kind of walk around like normal people.

[mitsubishis]

[Imagine that. Magical creatures simply walking among the mortals.]

Spy shit. Genie sleeper agents. I like it.

[dumbstruck]

[ Something a lot of people here have probably dealt with, but something Hyunseok wasn't supposed to mention it.

... Fuck it though, he's trapped on a space station that looks like it'll fall to pieces any minute. Who cares? ]

I think mainly just assholes that don't actually like it when you try to get wishes out of them.

[ Wait, to be fair. ]

Uh, the not wanting to grant wishes part is probably not that weird? The asshole part is separate.

[mitsubishis]

What's the point of being a genie if you don't wanna grant wishes, huh? That's just wasted potential. You're right. Asshole move.

[dumbstruck]

Right? That is kind of what I was thinking! But I don't think the guy I know actually wanted to be able to do any of that anyway.

[mitsubishis]

Tough titties, baby. That's like crying because you're seven feet tall and everybody's trying to get you on their basketball team. Cue the tiny violins.

[dumbstruck]

[ He never considered it that way, but... ]

You think so?

[ It does make sense to him. ]

[mitsubishis]

Yeah, man. Think about all the little five-foot fuckers out there wishing they could play basketball, and you're just like born for it, but you're crying about all your slam dunks? Fuck you, right? That's just spitting in the face of the little man.

[dumbstruck]

Yeah... I mean, I don't think it's really the same thing at all, but I kind of agree anyway.

[mitsubishis]

It makes sense when you think about it.

[dumbstruck]

Yeah! I'd definitely grant people's wishes if I could.