( text | un: revan )

[warcried]

I haven't been awake long, but I've been trying to read up on what I can, so a couple of quick questions:

1. Anyone managed to get past one of the locked doors yet? Either with force or another way. I know people were trying, but I haven't heard if anyone's succeeded.
2. I was told something about an organic humanoid capable of exiting the station without protective gear. If so, I'd love to talk to you.
3. Other Force-sensitives, I'd appreciate if we established ROEs immediately.

Thanks.

Comments

[merging]

Nice to meet you too. And don't worry about it. It's future stuff.

[Which probably makes it sound way more worrying. At least he didn't say that's the name of the Emperor who is also a Sith Lord and like the worst guy ever???

But Ezra listens to him and tries to take it all in. When Revan finishes speaking, he lets out a deep breath.]

Thank... thank you for telling me. That's- that's a lot and I can't imagine it's easy to tell someone that right off the bat, especially some guy claiming to be a Jedi from the future. I have a friend, she left the Order too. Not because she fell to the dark side, but just well actually I don't know the full story? But she's not a Jedi and she's not a Sith either. And she's probably one of the people I trust most in the galaxy. So like... yeah.

But why did the Jedi wipe your memories? And how? And how come you haven't fallen to the dark side again? Or have you? I mean, the balance thing... how does that work?

[warcried]

Honestly, I hate having to tell it, but it's nice having the chance to do it. [ instead of people hearing 'revan' and knowing exactly who and what he is and what he's done.

but kriff, one question at a time. it's like this kid feels like he has to fire them off all at once in hopes of getting even one answered.

he shifts, folding his arms over the table, brows arching a little as he considers what to answer first. ]

First of all, the balance thing works by being in control of myself pretty much at all times. I also have to be very self-aware, conscious of what I'm pulling from when I use the Force-- what emotions I'm experiencing and how strong they are, that sort of thing. [ he shifts, lips twitching up at the corner. ] The dark, the light.. they're both very much a part of me.

[ the rest.. that's a little more difficult to talk about. he rubs a hand over his mouth, scratching into his short beard, glance distant for a few moments. force, it's all so twisted up. ]

The Order sent a team to kill me-- like other Jedi they'd sent, I-- I would have killed them. But Malak, my apprentice, he saw a chance and betrayed me, firing on the ship I was on at the time. I must have been knocked out, though I don't remember exactly what happened. [ between the head trauma and his patchy memories, he doubts he'll ever entirely remember those last moments. ] --Bastila, the Jedi in charge of the team, convinced the others to let me live, and--you understand, I wasn't awake for any of this, so it's second-hand--brought me back to the temple. They decided I was worth too much, too powerful, to simply kill, and they rightfully thought I could defeat Malak. So they implanted a new personality, made me think I was a Republic soldier.

[ his shoulders lift in a small, uncomfortable shrug, dread and discomfort crawling up his spine, bunching the muscles between his shoulder-blades. ]

It let me find the light again, but it-- It was still rape. I'm grateful that they gave me a second chance, but I realized I couldn't be one of them any longer, between what happened and my own.. unique approach to the Force.

[merging]

I'm sorry. I know that doesn't change anything, doesn't help, but I am sorry. I don't... I don't know why the Jedi would do something like that, even to a Sith. I wouldn't want to be a part of a Jedi Order like that either and I hope that... I hope that our future Order can do better than that. Better than the one of your time, and better than the one before my own time.

[Which kinda makes him remember something he doesn't think about too often. That the Order might depend on him in the future. Both Master Yoda and Master Kenobi seemed uninterested in getting involved in the war, but what about after that? Kanan was gone, Ahsoka wasn't a Jedi, and back home he was basically gone too.]

Is it difficult? The balance. For you, I mean. I thought... there was a time when I thought the key to defeating the Sith would be through using the dark alongside the light. But that didn't go so well. I almost lost myself completely.

[warcried]

Hey-- No, Ezra-- [ he hesitates, hands twitching as if he wants to reach out, then stilling again. instead, there's a gentle force-nudge a moment later, revan's presence in the force unfurling in scant degrees. even in that small amount, it's apparent why the order wanted to keep him around: there's a lot of power just underneath the surface. the kind of power that is no doubt what sent the republic staggering to its knees. ] Listen, I'm not trying to badmouth the Order. I don't agree with them anymore, but they do good work. They do, and they have, and they will. They didn't.. have a lot of options with me.

[ he rubs his hands over his face, heaving a sigh. ] I'm not justifying it, because there's no justifying it, no more than you can justify the things that I did. But their ranks were pretty thin, and there's a certain poetic justice to it, I guess.. sending Darth Revan to tear down the empire he'd built.

[ he knows it still weighs on bastila, too, every night he wakes up screaming, lost in something half-remembered.

he's glad of the subject change, carefully relaxing the tension in his back and shoulders, letting himself focus on ezra. ]

It's difficult, [ he admits gently. ] Maybe not as difficult as it would be for you, though, because I've already been lost to the darkness. I know it a lot more intimately than you do, and that's.. not exactly a good thing.

[merging]

I guess. [He frowns, and it's the frown of a stubborn teenager who refuses to admit that this goes beyond just him. Because-] But I still want to do better. I know we can.

[Still, he'll drop it. With his strength in the Force being his talent to connect, it's a little overwhelming for him and he imagines it's even worse for Revan.]

I'm glad I wasn't lost, you know, I mean that's obvious... and I trust the decisions my master made, but I also. I still wonder what would have happened if I was stronger. [The loss of Kanan still tugs at him, as does the loss of his parents. As much as he can try to let it all go, it's a long process and one easier said than done.] I felt stronger when I used the dark side. But that's also the thing, I guess. Quick results and the promise of power and all that.

[warcried]

You can, and if the Jedi are gone, then you can begin again from the bottom. [ he steals the fork off ezra's plate, spearing a piece of the waffle and plucking it off the tines and popping it into his mouth. ] You can make it stronger and better. You can choose to teach a balanced approach to the Force if you wish. It's going to be a great deal of work, but it can be done.

[ and it's up to ezra and other people like ezra to make of it what they will. create a new jedi order, or begin something altogether new.

but in the meantime, he needs to survive. ]

Quick results, power, yes. Those things can be useful, as long as you can control yourself, as long as you know when to step back, when to give up that power. [ he laces his fingers together, frowning thoughtfully. ] There is a dark thread in you, but.. it's only a thread right now. It doesn't have to be more than that.

[merging]

You could've just asked, you know. [He's gonna float it back over because he can.] But yeah, all that depends on me actually getting back to our galaxy. Which should probably be our focus now, huh?

[And then once he's back, finding his way at least back to the Outer Rim. Little hard to reestablish the Jedi when you're floating somewhere in space with a bunch of purrgil.]

I don't want it to be more than that. Or I don't think I want it to be more than that, at least for now. I don't know. I was just curious, I guess. If using both sides was actually possible.

But uh, completely unrelated, does Malachor mean anything to you? I thought we could try and figure out where you're from or when you're from on my timeline.

[warcried]

[ he starts to respond, but then ezra mentions malachor and revan goes white-faced. there's a silent moment, two, fingers tightening around one another, knuckles strained, nails digging into his hands.

finally, he takes a breath in through his nose. ]

I know Malachor. I.. [ he unfolds his hands, pressing the palms together, fingertips against his mouth. ] It's my fault it was.. ruined. [ he hadn't given the order, but he's no less responsible. it's his fault the weapon was created in the first place. it's his fault it was there. it's his fault that-- everyone on the surface, everyone--republic soldier, jedi, mandalorian--was killed. ] Is it-- [ he takes another breath, carefully calm, glance flicking back up to ezra. ] Does anything live there any longer..?

[merging]

[Maybe... he shouldn't have just jumped right into that. But it's the only point of reference he really has and he hadn't really thought through what it would've been like to live that. For him, it was all kind of mystical and far away, a history that he was barely a part of.]

I don't think so. Sorry. I don't know the timing exactly, but that was thousands of years ago.

[At the very least, if Malachor hadn't happened he could've been from even further in the past? Thousands and thousands of years ago?]

I've been there. To the old Sith Temple. That's where I met Maul, the Sith Lord I mentioned before. And I found a Sith holocron there too, and... started learning from it. That was almost... 2 years ago, I guess? A year and a half? I mean, I only used the holocron for about 6 months, but still.