[text/video] un: @skull

[ryuji]

[A few days after gravity is restored to the station, Ryuji returns to the mess hall from Haru's garden to find a small robot flipped upside down, panicking through a series of morse beeps and boops, which- okay, that's kind of cool, and quickly figures out that the paneling and suction entrances of the little guy means it's probably meant for filtration and cleaning.

Looks pretty study, looks... waterproof, maybe? He lends a hand to get him right side up and it starts slowly moving forward. Ryuji takes out his communicator and immediately films this as it happens, because, why not?

He posts two videos on the network- the roomba moving down the hall and one, a few hours later in the fitness center as it crawls from the edge, and dives right in.]

Oh shit! Are you supposed to do that?

Whoa, whoa- I don't know how to fix you if you--- WHOA, COOL.




Hey, sup?

Just lettin you guys know the pool looks crystal clear now. All thanks to this little dude.

I figure I should give 'em a name but uh

Everything that comes to mind is kinda lame

Anyway, I think it's good? Anyone wanna give it the first try?

[Complete with file0033.png - a picture of crystal clear water.]

Comments

[ryuji]

[This is fucking tragic.]

I can't believe you memed a roomba into existence.

[oculusriffs]

that is kinda frustratingly a talent of mine
got any other requests

[ryuji]

I'd literally pay space bucks to see Lisa sitting on Simba-chan but other than that?

Uhhh I dunno, how about some bathing suits?

[oculusriffs]

[Simba-chan.]

i get the feelin getting lisa to cooperate is more feasible
but if i come up with another shitty wordplay incantation ill let you know
are you gonna try swimming in the pool anyway

[he's personally more the type to sit at the edge of a pool and dip his feet in, but there's a reason for that: want to know a fun fact? pools have always made Dave's hair turn green.]

[ryuji]

[Embrace your inner water nymph, Dave.]

Too late

Already in

It's freaking fantastic

Hold on, I got a special stream for you

[Haru had already asked him to figure some stuff out about Simba... probably related to her aspirations to use it to filter water for the hydroponics garden. So, he jumped right in and started taking some pictures underwater. The smartwatch was pretty cool for that, too.

He flips on video mode and takes a solid 20 second vine of the aquabot doing its thing, followed by turning the camera on himself and giving the cheesiest of thumbs-upping that he could manage. And then up, up, up- because he can't really hold his breath that long anyway.]

[oculusriffs]

[lmao Ryuji you dork. consider Dave's own thumbs up of approval implied.]

not bad

[and then, perhaps unfortunately, a thought crosses his mind. and then, perhaps double unfortunately, he decides to type out that thought and send it.]

maybe theres a paranormal tech nerd on board who can figure out how to get it to filter ghosts

[Simba-chan the actual space Ghostbuster??? he means that as a joke, but honestly, stupider things have happened.]

[ryuji]

[And this is how Simba-chan became the most important character in Reverie Station.]

What? No. I'm not letting any of those assholes near my son.

[oculusriffs]

ok dude
im not gonna let you get away with calling him that without hearing your best james earl jones first
so go on mufasa
tell simba to remember who he is

[ryuji]

[Oh. my god?]

Dave, what the eff.

[Okay, he looks around the room, just to make sure he really is alone. Like, really alone. No one hiding in the corner waiting for this shit. No one recording it. This is a special, private performance.

He turns on the video feature again, and like all good, young, impressionable post-millenials, he vines the shit out of it. Ryuji makes his voice deep, bellowing, echoing and lets out his best attempt at something truly horrendous.]




SIMBA. I AM YOUR FATHER.

[Holy shit the acoustics in this room are awesome.]

[oculusriffs]

[if you want to get technical, Dave is in fact a millenial, even though Ryuji might also be older than him? timelines are stupid.]

[he watches the vine on repeat a few times, thoughtful, examining it like he thinks he's some sort of Siskel or Ebert, or a sommelier carefully considering the best wine to pair with a shitty Mufasa Vader impression. see the icon.]

[..... eh. Dave gives it a six out of ten. it's not the best impression he's heard, but Ryuji gets bonus points for botching the line.]

congrats on your new son then
i guess that makes you both a roomba dad and a cat mom

[ryuji]

[Rude. He poured his heart and soul into that razzie award winning performance.]

Cool, so I'm like 3 months away from my midlife crisis when I realize I can't afford to send either of them to college.

Great.

Thanks, man, you've given me all these other problems I have to worry about.

And besides, I know how you feel about hot moms so I'm a little freaked out atm

[Oh... my god.

Simba starts to try and climb up the side of the pool. Is he done? Is he finished for now? Ryuji leans in and helicopter parents for a second, snapping a pic and sending it over.]

I'm.

I'm so freaking proud.

I could cry.

[oculusriffs]

[............]

[Dave just. stares at this series of text messages for a minute. did ... did Ryuji really just say that? did Dave really just accidentally imply that? he's always been a bit oblivious to his own bloopers, but.]

[wait, is it actually a Freudian slip if you just outright refer to yourself as a hot mom? maybe if he pretends he didn't read that, he'll stop entertaining that train of thought.]

[(he won't.)]

dont you need a space high school before you start worrying about space college

[ryuji]

[And then space PTA, space parent-teacher conferences. 18 years, 18 years. She got one of your robots, she got you for 18 years.

Does Ryuji know the deep level of dissonance that he's caused by dropping that line? Hell no. He'll just continue on ruining Dave's life. No biggie.]

I guess you're right

Maybe it is too soon to start workin' on my dad bod

Hey, I just kinda realized something. We're both high school dropouts, right?

That's punk as shit.

[oculusriffs]

[it's kind of incredible how much has already been accomplished in this so far short but rapid-fire, for them, text conversation. the roomba got a name. there was a really bad movie reference delivered via space vine. they've determined that Ryuji is a hot mom.]

[excellent work all around.]

pretty goddamn punk yeah
i never made actually made it to high school
but junior high dropout doesnt have the same ring to it

[ryuji]

Wait so you're technically a middle schooler?

[Explains a few things tbh]

[oculusriffs]

[ryuji]

[oculusriffs]

put in that lame sounding context
yeah i guess thats my highest level of education
i left home three years ago

[ryuji]

[Anyway...]

Holy shit

You haven't been back in that long?

Wait, you're my age right? I'm 17

[oculusriffs]

im 16

[he's not really sure how to answer that other question though. he could be straightforward, but even if he never really gave a particular shit about what happened, it seems like casually mentioning that all of human civilization was destroyed by meteors would be too heavy for this conversation.]

[so, he decides to go with the end result — his sentiments, ultimately, on the matter.]

dont worry about it though
as you can imagine ive had a lot of other bullshit to attend to
plus rose was there
so it wasnt like i was missing family or anything

[ryuji]

You know that thing where you tell someone not to worry about shit and that just makes em more suspicious, right?

But yeah, I imagine you had enough to deal with from what you told me

Still, 3 years? With the same person? Family or not, how'd you not kill each other lol

[Coming from an only child.]

[oculusriffs]

nope never heard of it
but nah me and rose argued but i fought with other people a lot more

[if anything, Dave's the annoying sibling of the two, what with his constant questions and being in her business basically always and calling her out when the situation warranted. of course, he did that even before they knew they were related.]

it wasnt much different than being here in that sense
you fight and then you figure out your dynamics with each other
or you just go full tilt and drive everyone beyond batty

[ryuji]

[Let me just pull out the management textbook here.

Forming, storming, norming, performing.

Proceeds to toss the book out the window.]

You? Fight? Couldn't imagine it.

But hey it sounds like you matured since then so that's kinda good

Unless you haven't and you're just like secretly always holding back the urge to go full tilt

Wait what does a full tilt Dave look like

[oculusriffs]

[lmao.]

hey thanks i think
but are you suggesting you want to see me fly off the handle
just do this olympic swan dive right off the edge into a pit of molten davefury
forge myself a gold medal out of all this delirious anger
no offense but i dont think you could manage to piss me off that much

[Ryuji is way too goofy. like John, assuming he isn't bringing up Howie Mandel. but even then, Dave never really got all that pissed at him.]

[ryuji]

[Jesus christ.]

...

Y...es?

You know, I'm not really sure anymore.

I've kinda lost the will to do anything

I'm just so effin stunned by that wall of bullshit

Davefury?

[Better to be pissed off than have your AJ pissed in, I guess.]