reverienet | ( text | un: revan )

[ there are a couple of things about this response that feel.. off. revan hasn't hunted jedi in-- a while, at least. not since his mind was wiped, anyway, and it's generally understood in the republic that he's a so-called hero once more. so why would this person be concerned about 'people' trying to kill them for being a jedi? ]

Why would you think someone would kill you for being Jedi?

Because the Empire killed all of us after the Clone Wars and they've tried to kill any survivors since then. And you know, the Sith. Being Sithy.

[ .. what. ]

What Empire? As far as I know, we just came out of the second Sith war.

[ all of the jedi? so the sith have done--will do?--something that revan feared very much, after all. ]

Uh

I will be the first to admit I don't know a lot about Jedi history

But that was a LONG time ago or well it had to be

Because there haven't been enough Sith for like a Sith war in thousands of years

[ okay revan, one thing at a time. ]

How do you not know Jedi history? You would've been learning from childhood. Have the Jedi really been that decimated?

[ wait. ] So I'm going out on a limb here, but my name doesn't mean anything to you?

Yeah nope I have no idea who you are.

I was born right when the Order fell. I didn't even know what the Force was until I was almost 14.

[ sith-hells take him, he's talking to an infant jedi.

he takes a few moments to push the comm away, dropping his face into his hands with a groan. that the jedi were that wiped out, that people wouldn't have even heard of the force-- ]

Well, it's probably better you don't.

How old are you now? I assume you dug up a teacher from somewhere. What have they been focusing on?

Why should I tell you any of that? Are you a Jedi?

Not anymore. I left the Order for personal reasons. I still do work for them from time to time.

Even if you were a Jedi, I don't have any reason to trust you and just tell you everything about my training and my master.

Sure, but if things are really that dire back home in your time(?), you may as well take advantage of someone else who spent most of his life in the Order.

[ he starts to tack on another comment--if i were going to do something, i would have already done it. there's nowhere for you to run here.--but figures that's not exactly comforting and takes it back out. ]

Your choice as far as that's concerned, though. Sounds like I'm at least a few thousand years dead at your point, so technically I don't have to care about the galaxy anymore. [ spoilers: he still cares a lot. ]

Last time I accepted a stranger's lessons in the Force, he ended up being a former Sith Lord who wanted to make me his apprentice. So.

Don't misunderstand, I'm not looking for students, especially here. My approach to the Force isn't really suited for Jedi. If you have questions or you're struggling with something, though, I'm around.

What's your approach like? Just out of curiosity.

I use a combination of light- and dark-side techniques and teachings; I try to keep myself and my Force connection balanced between them.

I don't exactly recommend it for most. I'm something of a unique case.

[It's about an hour or so before Ezra responds, as he keeps going back and forth on what he should say.]

We should discuss this in person. I'm not saying I'm interested, but this doesn't seem like the right method for deep Force conversations. How's the mess hall sound?

The mess hall sounds fine. Now, or do you need some time to meditate on it?

[ honestly, he's relieved. there are some things he wants to get out in the open, anyway, given this kid's prior experiences, and he really doesn't want to get into them over text. ]

Now works. See you there.

[Technically, he chose the mess hall because it's a public space where someone might be discouraged from having a giant Force battle or something. But also cause he's hungry. When Revan finds him, Ezra's picking over some regular non-space waffles.]

We're in space... why don't they have space waffles?

The kriff is a space-waffle?

[ it's not that difficult for force-users to recognize one another, though revan's presence is strangely muted, as if he's keeping it close to his body and tucked away where it's barely noticeable.

what can be sensed of him is definitely a strange, surprisingly harmonious mixing of light and dark energy.

he offers a quick, slightly worn smile, sinking down in the seat opposite the young man and relaxing into it. it's a conscious effort, making himself as harmless-seeming as possible; some people get spooked around him, and he's not taking anything for granted here just because this kid's never heard of him before. ]

So you know I'm Revan. What do you want me to call you?

You know! ... or well, I guess you don't know. It's like this, but actually good.

[Ezra's had no reason to hide his presence, as he assumed anyone who could sense him would already know him. His presence is certainly that of a Jedi, with a strong sense of light. But behind that, there's darkness as well and more than you might expect from a typical light side user.]

Ezra. My name is Ezra Bridger. The Empire's not here, but I figure it can't hurt to keep some secrecy, at least on the holonet. But also it'd be really weird if you called me Palpatine in person.

Nice to meet you, Ezra. [ the circumstances could be better, but-- well, now he understands more about why the kid was interested. ] Admittedly not sure why Palpatine would be weird, but I'll take your word for it.

[ he hesitates, pushing his hair back behind an ear, expression fading tiredly. ]

Look, in the interest of full disclosure, there are some things you need to know before we say anything else. [ he glances briefly back down to his hands, gathering his thoughts. strangely, it's always so much harder when he has to say it. ] I started out in the Order, like I said. [ his glance lifts again, meeting ezra's, the sense of him open and honest. ] It's a long story, but I ended up falling to the dark side. There's a lot I still don't remember and might never remember, but I came back to the Republic as a Sith, started another war.

[ he rubs the heel of his palm over his eyes, pushing back memories that threaten just mentioning it like this. ]

I'm not going to justify it. I might still be one of them if the Jedi hadn't wiped my memories and used me against Malak. But I'm not, and I'm not a Jedi, and you deserve to know, considering your experiences with Sith. Keeping it from you would be as good as lying to you.

Nice to meet you too. And don't worry about it. It's future stuff.

[Which probably makes it sound way more worrying. At least he didn't say that's the name of the Emperor who is also a Sith Lord and like the worst guy ever???

But Ezra listens to him and tries to take it all in. When Revan finishes speaking, he lets out a deep breath.]

Thank... thank you for telling me. That's- that's a lot and I can't imagine it's easy to tell someone that right off the bat, especially some guy claiming to be a Jedi from the future. I have a friend, she left the Order too. Not because she fell to the dark side, but just well actually I don't know the full story? But she's not a Jedi and she's not a Sith either. And she's probably one of the people I trust most in the galaxy. So like... yeah.

But why did the Jedi wipe your memories? And how? And how come you haven't fallen to the dark side again? Or have you? I mean, the balance thing... how does that work?

Honestly, I hate having to tell it, but it's nice having the chance to do it. [ instead of people hearing 'revan' and knowing exactly who and what he is and what he's done.

but kriff, one question at a time. it's like this kid feels like he has to fire them off all at once in hopes of getting even one answered.

he shifts, folding his arms over the table, brows arching a little as he considers what to answer first. ]

First of all, the balance thing works by being in control of myself pretty much at all times. I also have to be very self-aware, conscious of what I'm pulling from when I use the Force-- what emotions I'm experiencing and how strong they are, that sort of thing. [ he shifts, lips twitching up at the corner. ] The dark, the light.. they're both very much a part of me.

[ the rest.. that's a little more difficult to talk about. he rubs a hand over his mouth, scratching into his short beard, glance distant for a few moments. force, it's all so twisted up. ]

The Order sent a team to kill me-- like other Jedi they'd sent, I-- I would have killed them. But Malak, my apprentice, he saw a chance and betrayed me, firing on the ship I was on at the time. I must have been knocked out, though I don't remember exactly what happened. [ between the head trauma and his patchy memories, he doubts he'll ever entirely remember those last moments. ] --Bastila, the Jedi in charge of the team, convinced the others to let me live, and--you understand, I wasn't awake for any of this, so it's second-hand--brought me back to the temple. They decided I was worth too much, too powerful, to simply kill, and they rightfully thought I could defeat Malak. So they implanted a new personality, made me think I was a Republic soldier.

[ his shoulders lift in a small, uncomfortable shrug, dread and discomfort crawling up his spine, bunching the muscles between his shoulder-blades. ]

It let me find the light again, but it-- It was still rape. I'm grateful that they gave me a second chance, but I realized I couldn't be one of them any longer, between what happened and my own.. unique approach to the Force.

I'm sorry. I know that doesn't change anything, doesn't help, but I am sorry. I don't... I don't know why the Jedi would do something like that, even to a Sith. I wouldn't want to be a part of a Jedi Order like that either and I hope that... I hope that our future Order can do better than that. Better than the one of your time, and better than the one before my own time.

[Which kinda makes him remember something he doesn't think about too often. That the Order might depend on him in the future. Both Master Yoda and Master Kenobi seemed uninterested in getting involved in the war, but what about after that? Kanan was gone, Ahsoka wasn't a Jedi, and back home he was basically gone too.]

Is it difficult? The balance. For you, I mean. I thought... there was a time when I thought the key to defeating the Sith would be through using the dark alongside the light. But that didn't go so well. I almost lost myself completely.

Hey-- No, Ezra-- [ he hesitates, hands twitching as if he wants to reach out, then stilling again. instead, there's a gentle force-nudge a moment later, revan's presence in the force unfurling in scant degrees. even in that small amount, it's apparent why the order wanted to keep him around: there's a lot of power just underneath the surface. the kind of power that is no doubt what sent the republic staggering to its knees. ] Listen, I'm not trying to badmouth the Order. I don't agree with them anymore, but they do good work. They do, and they have, and they will. They didn't.. have a lot of options with me.

[ he rubs his hands over his face, heaving a sigh. ] I'm not justifying it, because there's no justifying it, no more than you can justify the things that I did. But their ranks were pretty thin, and there's a certain poetic justice to it, I guess.. sending Darth Revan to tear down the empire he'd built.

[ he knows it still weighs on bastila, too, every night he wakes up screaming, lost in something half-remembered.

he's glad of the subject change, carefully relaxing the tension in his back and shoulders, letting himself focus on ezra. ]

It's difficult, [ he admits gently. ] Maybe not as difficult as it would be for you, though, because I've already been lost to the darkness. I know it a lot more intimately than you do, and that's.. not exactly a good thing.

( text | un: revan )

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