reverienet | un: aphrodite ;; text ;; 001 <- "first post"

a lot of people have been saying that.
it's... kind of nice, i think?
just don't let neptune hear you say that. she can go kind of hard.

[ that's basically the biggest understatement of the year, but you know. it's fine. ]

the locked off doors, mainly.
and i guess the rooms? i haven't picked through all of them yet.
but every time i do the rounds there's more people, so it's not like i've run out of places yet.

any suggestions?

[ Apollo rereads the start of Venus's message a few times to make sure he understands it correctly. Why wouldn't someone want to be good? Confused, he files that away for later. ]

Well, most people have got to eat eventually right? The mess deck is probably a good place to keep checking.

[ that part's the least of his concerns. he's got a few surprises coming his way. ]

oh!
that's. actually, that's a really good idea.
we've all got to eat sometime. i think. haha

were you wanting to meet up there?

I'll meet you there in ten (: I'm the one with the long white hair, okay?

[ Regardless of the fact that there is definitely more than one man on the Station with long white hair, Apollo arrives in the mess hall precisely ten minutes later. Long limbed and broad shouldered, he cuts an imposing figure over the heads of most of the collected passengers who mill around the deck; if it weren't for his open, honest face he might even look intimidating. Blue eyes sweep across the assembled station-dwellers as they mingle around the hall but, not seeing a face that particularly jumps out at him, Apollo turns his attention to the fabricators while he waits.

Apollo happily doesn't need to eat or drink, not when his body is fuelled by pure sunlight, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy the charade of it. Surrounded by so many people as he is, it's impossible to resist the urge to join in with the great pretence of being more human than he actually is. He toys idly with the fabricator for a moment before ordering himself a milky coffee. It's been years since he's had one. Space coffee might actually be better than space coffee, who knows? ]

[ it's not long after - a few minutes, at most - that venus arrives at the mess hall herself. she's long since shrugged the top part of the jumpsuit off, tying the arms around her waist and sticking with a tank undershirt she found in one of the empty rooms. it's a lot cooler, a lot less stiflingly tight around everything. it's a lot brighter - she floods any room she's in, banishing the darkness (at least for a good few feet). and most importantly, it means her wings are on full display; eyes open, searching the area in front of her and behind her and in every direction before landing on apollo.

long white hair. waiting in the mess hall. it has to be him, right? so she waves from a respectable distance, and calls out: ]

Um- Apollo, right? [ her eyes - half of them, at least - flicker down on the cup in his hands. ] Should I grab some coffee too?

[ the thought that he might not be expecting her appearance doesn't even cross her mind. she's the devil, after all - and didn't she basically tell him as much? ]

[ He looks up at her call and returns her wave in reply. Apollo had assumed Venus would be human but her appearance isn't the stumbling block for Apollo that it might be for others; not when he's lived his life on board a spaceship with a winged woman, and certainly not when he shines as brightly as he does. Seeing both of these things in the young girl before him doesn't give him any cause for concern at all. If anything he grins all the brighter as he beckons her over to join him at the fabricator. ]

Sure, if you want, [ he replies candidly and empties a sleeve of sugar in to his mug. Did he like sugar with his coffee? Apollo can't remember. He'll give it a go anyway. ]

I didn't know you had wings, [ He adds as he stirs his coffee with a spoon, rattling the metal noisily against the rim. ] Can you fly with them?

[ it's one of the first normal interactions she's had on the station. she smiles at him as she makes her way over, lining up next to him and starting her own coffee-making process. ]

Maybe? I mean, probably. [ she sounds a little apologetic. whether it's for her lack of flying experience or the four sleeves of sugar she's dumping into the cup, it's hard to say. ] I guess I haven't really tried yet.

[ even if they feel like they've been there her whole life, it hasn't even been a full twenty-four hours yet. it's hard to keep that in mind, sometimes. ]

[ He hums thoughtfully at her answer, realising that maybe not everyone who has wings has the privilege of being able to use them in public. Perhaps that's what she means by haven't really tried yet. It was okay for Swift, a fully grown woman who could tear apart any person who tried to give her grief for her wings, but not everyone is so lucky. Wings tend to attract negative attention, Apollo knows this. And especially after what Venus has told him about her 'summer camp' it hardly sounds like she's had a grief-free life. ]

Well, they're very unique, [ He says, glancing at the eyes. ] If you want ever want to practice with them we could always go flying together.

Yeah, I guess they are, huh? [ but it's not said with any degree of sadness. if anything her smile brightens, and she turns just enough to look at them with her own peripheral vision. ] They probably freak some people out. But it's like... they're still mine, you know? I'm not gonna hide them if I don't have to.

[ -now that takes her by surprise - the invitation, that is. she turns to face apollo dead on, the eyes on her wings and all, and even though about a dozen different questions come to mind she just ends up blurting out- ]

-really? [ she sounds desperately hopeful - like apollo's just dangled a christmas gift in front of someone who's never received one before. ] Oh my god. That'd just... be okay?

Sure, why not? [ Apollo beams at her, cradling his coffee between his hands as he rests a hip and a shoulder against the fabricator's bulkhead. The multitude of eyes on her wings are oddly intimidating, even to someone like Apollo, but he focuses on looking at Venus's eyes as he returns her bright smile. ]

You shouldn't have to hide them, no. You should use them. They're yours and they're special and those are good enough reasons to be proud of them.

[ He pauses, takes a sip of his coffee. ]

Are they why you were at that awful camp then? Different people are "bad" -- [ He performs the airquotes with one hand ] -- or something?

[ she's actually at a loss for words. her eyes peel away from apollo, all of them, dropping down and looking away as she blushes and covers her mouth with a fist. it's- it's a kind move from him, a spectacularly kind one, even if he doesn't know just why yet. and so when he asks his question, she grabs on and answers fully, glad to have something she can respond to without getting too awkward and emotional. ]

Sort of? Haha. I mean, that's basically it. Going against God's will and everything. [ she shrugs, mimicking his sip - and only barely wincing. turns out pouring half a cup of sugar in makes it more drinkable. ] It's kind of like...

[ for a moment, she's not sure how far is okay to go. when you have trouble reading other people, you run into a lot of problems on that front, and she was always told it wasn't right to just... unload on someone you don't know that well. but, well, that's not really holding her back anymore, is it? he asked her a question. she can tell the truth if she wants. what's the worst case - he thinks she's weird? a freak who let the devil in?

ha. it's funny, because she is totally, factually, literally that. she takes another small sip, letting the warmth of the cup soak through to her hands, before speaking up again. ]

Well, um. For me, I guess it was... being a boy? Or, well, trying. I was pretty shitty at it. [ even with the things she's saying, she doesn't sound torn up - it's not causing her any pain. it's just something in the past. ] You know what I mean, right? I didn't like playing with the other boys, and I cried too much, and, uh- that kind of thing.

[ another sip. she watches the black liquid swirl in the cup, gently jiggling one hand to keep it moving. ]

I hated it. Like, hated it. And I didn't even know how much? It's like- it's like you've been wearing shoes too tight for your feet for your whole life, right? And you don't really think about it, most of the time. And then you find decent shoes, and it's like... holy shit? Holy shit. [ a tiny ting as she flicks a fingernail against her cup. ting. ting. ] I think... I'd probably die if I had to go back to the way things were. Haha.

[ it's not a remotely appropriate thing to laugh at. her laugh doesn't even sound particularly amused - it's awkward, a helpless attempt to fill the silence a tiny bit. she finally looks back up at apollo, all her eyes searching for some sort of reaction - tension? pity? hatred? honestly, she's not even sure what she's looking for. ]

Edited 2018-05-14 22:35 (UTC)

[ He isn't sure what he was expecting her to say but... it certainly wasn't that. Apollo can only listen in increasing horror - and anger - as Venus describes the trauma of her relatively short life so far. The idea that she wasn't at the camp for her wings but for yet another 'not socially acceptable' aspect of her life that she had no control over leaves Apollo sick with anger. And he doesn't bother to hide it. ]

That's why you were there? [ He repeats, brows pinching in an fiery, angry grimace. He sets the coffee cup down again if only because he can feel the clay beginning to crack under his white-knuckled fingers. ] Jesus -- because you were 'going against God's will'? Fuck that! That's just people's wills with a delusion of grandeur...

[ Apollo forces himself to take a calming breath; he'd promised himself he'd keep a check on his temper here. ]

So they packed kids like you off to this camp, [ He continues, eyes fixed on some distant point above and beyond Venus's head. Apollo's voice is calmer now, bit still edged with a hard bitterness as he paints an imaginary picture of what Venus has been telling him all along. ] Because you don't fit their image of what a good kid is like. And that beating thing -- you mean that literally, right?

[ His eyes snap down to meet Venus's again. ]

They literally beat you because of who you are?

[ there's a lot of things she was expecting to find, but- anger isn't one of them. he's been so kind, so easy to talk to so far that it honestly stuns her into silence for a moment. he's angry for her? that's... new to her. like, really new to her. she can think of two other people in her entire life who'd do that for her.

she shakes her head to collect herself, and tries to answer his questions. ]

No. I mean, yes, but not me? Not me specifically. There were others every week, but it wouldn't have been me until the very end. [ it occurs to her he probably doesn't quite know what she'd mean by that, so she tries to explain: ] It's, um- so every week, they sent three of the kids out to the devil, right? And it's... Whichever one of them let the devil into their heart, that's the one we had to beat down.

[ oh. maybe that'll explain a bit more. she helpfully adds that in. ]

Right, sorry. We were the ones who had to do it, not the counselors.

[ wow. the more she tries to explain this in, like, an objective way, the more fucked up it sounds? like, not that it wasn't fucked up. it was absolutely fucked up. but even so, she's having trouble getting the whole picture across. she laughs, almost nervously this time, and combs her fingers through her hair - she doesn't really want to keep dragging the mood down!! ]

Sorry. I'm really not doing a good job of explaining this? Haha.

[ she's doing the thing where she tries to smile, and laugh sheepishly, and pretend that everything was her fault. and she knows it, and she hates it. god. why is talking so difficult? ]

[ It was fucked up enough before without the added layer of awfulness that Venus provides. Apollo's anger transmutes in to pure horror at the idea of children having to be each other. ]

...Are you joking? [ The words are strained, hoarse, and entirely redundant. Nobody would joke about anything like that. ]

God, Venus, I'm so sorry. That's -- that's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard. And I've heard a lot of fucked up stuff in my days.

[ Seriously. ]

How did you escape?

[ she actually flinches when his voice raises a tone. it's not that she's afraid of him - not at all, not with the words he's saying - but with each step of indignation in his voice, he reminds her more and more of god. his absolute certainty in his tone; his undeniable power.

it's kind of... reassuring, in a fearful and awesome sort of sense. she's glad he's on her side. ]

It's really... [ not as bad as it sounds, she starts to say and gives up two words in. it is that bad. it's literally why she struck out the way she did - why she's looking for two girls who are the devil right now. ] I mean, it could be worse? It could always be worse. It's like Neptune likes to say, at least here hardly anyone ever dies.

[ but that's not the part she wants to talk about right now. it's not the reason her smile is coming back - her actual smile, not the forced one she's been relying on for a few minutes. ]

Jupiter, and Neptune, and me... we all let the devil in. She spoke to us, and we didn't chase her out. [ her eyes are hazy, focusing on something past apollo once again - but her smile is unguarded. ] And if it takes a whole camp to stop one bad girl, what can they do against the three worst ones since Eve?

[ it's not spoken self-deprecatingly. it's a badge of pride. ]

So... we didn't escape. [ but she doesn't hesitate, or give him time to think about just what she's saying, before- ] We tore it all down. All the buildings, the cabins, the chapel. It's just. Gone now.

[ every part of it that made it what it was, thrown into the wind by a thousand ghostly hands. the stifling rule of god hurled into the lake and drowned. stained glass and wood, beaten down into dust by her light. she takes a long, satisfied sip of her coffee, rolling it around in her mouth for the taste. it's bitter, true, but the sweetness is shining through. she thinks she could probably get used to this. ]

[ Destructive justice is something that Apollo can relate to. Of course he can - it's why he dropped a dictator from a hundred feet down upon the rioting mob of his own people for them to tear him apart. It's why the Authority overthrew the government of the United States. The Sun King understands the need to tear down and destroy that which needs destroying.

He takes another breath, an oddly redundant and human thing to do once again. But it helps in a way. It helps remind him he is human, somewhere beneath all the fire and fury.

The idea that Venus and her friends left the summer camp in ruins is reassuring. ]

Good, [ He says quietly, approvingly. The idea of something as hateful and fucked up as that summer camp still being standing makes his hands itch. He'd Door his way there himself if he had the Carrier, just to drop a mountain on it himself. He picks up his coffee again, forcing his hands to be still and calm and to not crush the mug to dust. ]

So. The devil is a female force?

[ He's heard weirder shit but it makes him smile faintly. ]

That's... surprising.

[ good, he says, and she feels a warmth in her chest about ready to burst. she's thrown out a lot of things, becoming who she is, and the approval of society is pretty high on that list. but having someone like this say he approves, say he's happy for her, is... it's a lot.

she's smiling, as radiant as a star, as she answers. ]

Maybe? Or maybe just for us. [ she sort of chuckles. ] Everyone says the devil's a boy, but maybe... they just can't imagine her as she is. They only see what they want her to be.

[ maybe she's the same way. she laughs softly, looking over to catch apollo's gaze. maybe this is the best way to explain. ]

What do you see? When you look at me, I mean.

I used to think the devil was a big red guy with pointy horns but then I met God. God was a giant pyramid alien so I wouldn't be surprised if the devil was the same, to be honest.

[ Apollo sounds matter of fact about it all because he is - they met God and they killed God and that was about all there was to it. Apollo, lacking any kind of religious convictions, hadn't exactly been upset by the revelation. If so many people hadn't died - Jenny Sparks included - it would almost have been funny. ]

I guess I see -- [ Apollo steps back, appraising Venus from the tips of her many-eyed wings to her toes. ] -- I see a young woman with some pretty impressive wings. Is that what I'm meant to see?

[ -that gets a snicker out of her. he met god? wow. she's only ever heard him on the radio, but somehow she's not surprised he'd look like that. even though humanity was supposed to be in god's image and all? huh. still, she avoids speaking up until he's fully appraised her, and it's only when he's said his piece that she says- ]

There's not really a right or wrong answer? Haha. It's just a question. [ but it's an answer she's clearly okay with, given the small smile on her face. ] So if that's what you see when you look at the devil, that has to be part of her. It doesn't mean that's all she is. Right?

[ there's a key piece of information there, one that isn't said aloud but might as well have been. venus doesn't even seem to notice; the words flow easily for her, no hesitation in her voice. ]

[ Apollo knows he can be pretty blonde at times but even he picks up that message behind Venus's words. A mystified frown crosses his expression, like clouds passing over the sun, as he processes what that truly must mean about the young woman standing before him. ]

You... are the devil? [ He says slowly, brows pinching in thought before amending his words slightly: ] You're a part of the devil?

Yeah. [ she's smiling as she says it, reveling in the freedom that simple word gives. she's got nothing to hide - she is the devil, proud and shining and beautiful. or at least, sort of. ] Or, well. It's complicated? I'm the devil, but I'm also me. Same with Jupiter and Neptune. It's like...

[ she thinks for a moment, then snaps her fingers. ]

It's like the Holy Trinity. Jesus and God are the same, right? But they're also different. Even if Jesus is God, he's also Jesus. It's kind of like that, but- with a whole lot of Jesuses. At least a whole camp's worth, haha.

[ hopefully some parts of this entire conversation are starting to clear up a little. ]

Huh. Okay.

[ Venus seems like a lovely kid who's been through a hell of a lot of bad shit, but a manifestation of the actual devil? The manifestation of everything bad and horrible in the Biblical world? Apollo isn't a believer, not now that he knows God is a pyramid-shaped alien asshole. For all he knows, the devil is a circle. Or a parallelogram.

If anything, he worries that it's more of a reflection of what Venus thinks of herself. That, perhaps, after spending that time in a criminally abusive summer camp, she thinks she's the devil. ]

I have to say, you don't seem all that devil-like to me, [ Apollo observes, giving her a hazy, squinting smile. ] I mean - you're not going to corrupt my soul and drag me to hell to burn for all eternity, are you? You don't seem like the type to do that to someone...

[ a circle, or a parallelogram, or a lovely voice on the radio. the devil can be lots of things, apollo. so when he smiles at her, she still smiles back - even if it looks like she wants to explain things she doesn't have the words for yet. ]

I mean, not unless you want me to?? [ there's a teasing lilt to her voice - even if it's not quite on the parts you'd think. ] Hell sounds pretty cool to me. But I wouldn't want to take someone who wasn't into it.

[ a pause. she hesitates for a moment, unsure how much she wants to say, before finally addressing the issue at hand. ]

Besides, I don't... really know if I can do that? At least, not anymore. I'm not the last kid from the scouts to grow wings, you know.

[ and she smiles. even if she can't do much anymore, she's still inordinately fond of the memory. ]

No, I really don't want to go to Hell, [ He emphasizes with a small smile - the kind of smile that suggests he doesn't really think they're talking about the same thing any more. He's been told to go to Hell enough times that he can be flippant about it, but that doesn't mean he would actually want to go to Hell any time soon.

But then Venus goes on and Apollo's smile turns a little... worried. ]

What do you mean, 'anymore'? You've sent people to Hell before? Actual Hell?

Yeah. I kind of figured.

[ and she gives that smile right back - right up to the sudden concern when his smile shifts. ]

Um. Sort of? Not like, the place. I've never really been there either. But I have turned other kids into- well. Something like me.

[ hell was beyond that door. that's what she'd promised jupiter. if hell was where the devil lived, then why couldn't hell be in their world too? ]

GOD HOW DID I MISS THIS i am sorry this is a million years late wow

solarcharged - 2018-06-14 17:14 (UTC) - Expand

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wingstosee - 2018-06-16 06:23 (UTC) - Expand

un: aphrodite ;; text ;; 001 <- "first post"

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would you like to switch this to action? (also action tags here count for 15 points, MODS CONFIRMED)

ON IT.

HELL YES

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GOD SORRY ABOUT THE LENGTH HERE I'M TRYING

never apologise NEVER

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GOD HOW DID I MISS THIS i am sorry this is a million years late wow

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