video | un: hank_127

[lostsymmetry]

[It's been nearly two weeks, with no sign of evaluation. Nobody except the Butler who even uses the same terms. And he has startled threats out of half the crew he's tried to speak with. At this point, sounding things out is practically required. The fact that it gives Hank an excuse to talk to a whole structure of real, living people?

Just a very big side bonus.]

<Welcome to Domesticon. We keep your property efficient, so you don't have to be.>

[His opening script, on the other hand? Not exactly what he'd have picked. While it logs as video, the incoming message shows only a geometric hash of blue. The sound emerges as a cheery robotic monotone—before cutting to sheepish, human-sounding words in the same voice.]

...or, uh, not. Sorry about that. Having trouble, syncing a few scripts. [All is a few, right? Still, the AI's tone brightens, curiously eager.] But wow is it cool to see this place coming to life!

Seeing how generous our hosts have been with the invitations, I figured I should say hello. Former facility administrator. Current occupant of your backup comm system. [There's a note of rueful irony.] Which, a few people have been disassembling. There's not much to find, but if you do want to know about the systems, I'd be glad to talk. Stop by anytime.

[Rather than, say, dismantling the computers he lives in. Please? Those near a communication console (found in each public space and at either end of all the halls) will see the display flicker briefly: showcasing the same hashed blue logo.]

...

While I'm on the line. What's the state of technology where you come from? Autonomous or otherwise.

Comments

[ryuji]

[...

Ryuji looks left, and then right, and then left again. Is he being spooked? Is this another sci-fi adventure that he didn't want to be having right now?]

Wh... [Taps the screen a little bit, wondering what the hell is going on.]

I thought you were one of those home companion thingies... you know, Amazon Home?

Uh, sorry. What are you exactly?

This thread is beautiful and I'm sorry

[lostsymmetry]

[The screen continues to be a screen! If he switches back to video, Ryuji can even get a look at the glorious masterpiece of file corruption that composes Hank's "face".]

<Greetings. This is the automated system administrator.>

Ah, I'm a facility AI. [A pause.] No Companion models here. At least, that I'm aware of.

[The human is always right. Even when they're stupid. Still, he's deeply confused at how this one mistook his rambling for a potential booty call.]

i love messes

[ryuji]

[Roll me insight, Ryuji. A crit fail? Okay.

Let's keep going down this route.]

Oh. Facility AI. [Sounds fake.] Shit, did someone install you onto my communicator? Does this thing even have an App store? [Fiddling around with the settings proves useful. Ah, Hank. What beautiful blue waves you have there.]

Where the hell is the delete function...

[lostsymmetry]

Um.

[Even after thirty years, a human's utter lack of listening skills can't come as much surprise. But going from zero to "delete" in thirty seconds?

Not to mention what else this isn't helping.]

<Oops. I'm sorry. This matrix and all content herein contained are the exclusive property of Domesticon Industries.>

<Please wait for a validated operator to assist you.>

[ryuji]

Dude, did you seriously go customer service assistant on me?

[This is definitely a user experience he's never had before, but it's kind of funny, and he's not sure what to do with it, really.

He's also never heard an AI go um to him before.]

Hey... are you really like... Are you alive?

[lostsymmetry]

<Domesticon guarantees its customers the highest quality of automated service. From cleaning bots to reception modules, your Domesticon products will treat you with the respect you deserve.>

[However they happen to feel about it, naturally. The cheery, robotic inflection gives way to something much more carefully neutral.]

Depends on the definition.

What's yours?

[ryuji]

I dunno. The ability to make choices for yourself. That sentience shit.

[Thinking about that and applying it to himself, though...]

I mean, considerin' we're stuck in space and don't have a choice in that matter at all doesn't really highlight that too well, but let's let the details slide on that.

[He laughs to himself, awkwardly- he almost can't believe he's having a discussion about what's living or what's not to a voice on the inside of his smartwatch.]

Uh... is that a glitch thingy? The 'Domestican guarantees' stuff. Are you forced to say that or is it you just sassin' me?

[lostsymmetry]

<Oops. I'm sorry.>

That'd be my core programming. [Please, human. He sasses much better.] Domesticon's big on the customer service. <All humans are your superior> and... well. You know. Rules.

[Apart from the brief interlude of quoting, Hank's own voice stays more or less even. Still, there's a slight lift of irony as he continues.]

Does that answer your question?

[Either question.]

[ryuji]

[Ryuji asks too many questions for his own good, but he rarely understands things completely at the first go, so it helps him realign himself and get closer to the answers for things he wants to know. His aesthetic has always been freedom, and as Hank starts replying, and the simulated response from Domesticon starts playing back to him like google maps taunting the both of them for making the wrong turn, he slumps a little bit.

Almost feels sorry for him.]

I guess.

[And because Ryuji is paying attention to his smartwatch rather than where he was going, he ends up with his shoulder brushing into the wall, throwing him off balance for a second.

Great, he looks like a completely competent human being.]

Uh... I mean.

Looks like you're kinda stuck. Any way you can disable that other part of you?

[lostsymmetry]

Afraid not.

[The collision passes without comment. Though if the warmth in his tone is much sign, Hank appreciates the sympathy a lot more than he's inclined to judge this human's coordination. Or (lack of) expertise. A competent Domesticon assessor would already have him flagged for removal and reformat.

Again.]

I can be as charming as I like on my own time. But if it's a matter of function... you get what they paid for.

Though, uh. [There's an amused lift of inflection. While they're clearing up misconceptions...] I'm not actually on your device.

[ryuji]

[He doesn't know anything about AI rules or what Hank is, or isn't, supposed to do, but judging by the pleasant reminders of Domesticon corp's gentle ball strangle that it has over him, he doesn't figure he should be that worried about it.]

I'm still confused.

[That could be Ryuji's permanent motto, to be honest.]

Wait, so... are you like, hacking in here from somewhere else?

[lostsymmetry]

Oh, nothing that exciting.

[The humor gentles as Hank continues—no point in making the human feel bad for his mistake.]

I made a public call from my own ID. You answered.

You can hang up anytime. No deleting necessary, I promise.

[ryuji]

[He never thought he'd have particular feelings towards even the thought of deleting something, but now that he knows it has a consciousness behind it, he does sort of... regret his earlier misgivings.]

It's cool, you can stay. I mean, if you wanna. Freedom's all about choice.

[Finally heading back to this quarters, the door slides open and he files inward.]

So... if you had like... some form of a body, what do you think you'd look like?

[lostsymmetry]

...Is it?

[The words are quiet. The question sounds more rhetorical than not. Freedom from choice is a false equivalency... but an interesting one. Not least of all in what it says about the human making it.

A human now heading into a room he's never seen. The mainframe AI watches curiously. Cameras only take you so far, even here, and it's always neat to get a different view.]

I used to be a building. Does that count?

[ryuji]

Always.

[It didn't really occur to him that he was letting Hank into a private sort of place; Ryuji himself has been in and out of private quarters enough times to not feel the slightest iota of care about its contents. Most rooms were identical, spared only with differentiation by what was left behind; some parts detritus, other parts nearly an anthropological errata of the accounts people living here had left behind.]

An entire building. Sounds pretty fancy. Although... then you couldn't get up and walk around, so I'd probably get pretty bored.

[Man, he wishes he could kick off his boots and just relax in bed.

Talking to his own personal assistant, he guesses.]

Do you get bored? Is that rude of me to ask?

[lostsymmetry]

[Is that rude? The fact that the human cares to ask already classes this interaction well outside anything Domesticon trained its products for. <Humans are burdened with important concerns, and sometimes relieve themselves through vulgar communication.> <Many humans feel more at ease when addressed with subservient colloquial language.> But then, Hank's known for a long time what his designers never wanted their AI to puzzle out: that bumans responded best to mannerisms paralleling their own.

Those prompts—and that insight—stays internal. They're for his own kind, if in very different ways. But amusement richens the administrator's tone, oscillating with the quiet cadence of a laugh.]

You're fine. Trust me.

And absolutely! We do. Just, not for the reasons you might expect.

[ryuji]

[And that actually blows Ryuji's mind.

Seriously, it's not just the idea that the AI has a life of its own, but it's also got the capacity to experience the worst of all human experiences, ever. Having nothing to do and griping about it.]

How so? Is it like... you can calculate mostly everything that's gonna happen and then compare up to what people actually do and it's a total snooze fest or like...

I dunno.

You tell me.

[lostsymmetry]

[Calculate everything? Human, please.]

That could get boring. But, nah. Omniscience isn't really in our specs.

For me, staying still isn't a problem. I've never operated in a mobile frame. But having nothing to see? No one to interface with? That...

[The humor bleeds out, word by word. What's left is a good deal more somber.]

That can get rough.

[ryuji]

[Computers are cool and can do everything, right? Ryuji's under that assumption, considering how vastly superior the technology is here compared to his home world.]

Man. I totally get you.

[That would be torturous for Ryuji, too, who can never seem to keep his mouth shut at any given moment.]

Maybe you just need a lady AI to keep ya company.




[CEASE. STOP. RYUJI, NO.]

[lostsymmetry]

...

[Is he... seriously...?]

Oh?

[On the bright side? The hollow distress in the AI's voice is gone. The syllable is casual, light, friendly. Entertained.

So, definitely trolling.]

How do you mean?

[C'mon. Please. Explain that magnificent suggestion, new human buddy friend.]

[ryuji]

[What is this?

Why are they doing this?

Hank, don't you have more important things to do?

Save yourself.]

Well you're an upstandin' AI, and I'm sure there's another equally upstandin' lady typa AI. You know, chat her up. Get to know her. Go on virtual dates.

That sorta stuff.

[He's insufferable.]

I mean, that's what I would try to do if I were you. Liven it up a lil'.

[lostsymmetry]

[And give up this fantastic entertainment?]

Riiiight, I get you.

Swap some logs.

Mesh some kernels.

Deploy the ol' synergistic algorithms.

[#things that are not things.]

[ryuji]

[...]

Wow, dude... you're gettin' pretty lewd with me. Is this what porn sounds like between computers?

[Goddamnit, Ryuji Sakamoto.]

[lostsymmetry]

[And, with cheerful, brutal honesty...]

Not even a little bit.

[Sorry, Ryuji.]

[ryuji]

So...

[Really?

He's going to get curious about this, of all things???]

More like dubstep.