un: aphrodite ;; text ;; 001 <- "first post"

[wingstosee]

so i'm not really sure how this works?
it doesn't look like anyone else has posted yet.
but uhhhh no time like the present, right?
so
my... bracelet? watch?
i guess it's kind of a smartwatch.
anyway it said something new just now.

"we made it work. attempt number six was successful. it worked, everyone!"
"wait, there's a problem, we're not where we..."

does this sound familiar to anyone?
there might have been more but i was in the cafeteria
or well. am, i guess

also, first post?
i think you're supposed to say that.

wow i have no idea where to end this.
i hope you're all having a good day?
even with the kidnapping and everything.
okay bye

wait jk jk
jupiter, if you see this
let me know, okay?
this is venus. though i guess that's pretty obvious.
i'm really worried :(
that was probably obvious too

okay bye for real this time?
maybe??
yeah.

Comments

[iustitia]

[terezi takes a few moments to think. she has to mentally shuffle through every memory of every stupidly long troll movie title she's ever had the misfortune of reading in order to figure out if there's an equivalent on her planet.]

NNNNNNNOT R34LLY?
1T H4S W4Y MOR3 ROBOTS 1N 1T 4ND PROB4BLY 4 LOT MOR3 MURD3R
4NYW4Y
NOW YOU G1V3 M3 4N 34RTH HUM4N MOV13

[wingstosee]

uhhh
oh!
harry potter and

sorry
human harry potter and the sorceror's stone!
or i guess it was philosopher's stone in britain?
is that a thing for you
do you have troll britain

[iustitia]

NOP3
WH4T 3V3N 1S 4 BR1T41N

4ND Y34H
TH4T'S TH3 ON3 4BOUT TH3 W1Z4RD K1D W1TH TH3 D34D LUSUS, R1GHT?
OR
P4R3NT 1 TH1NK YOU C4LL 1T?
H4S 4 W4ND 4ND DO3S M4G1C?
H3'S PL4Y3D BY TROLL D4N13L R4DCL1FF

[wingstosee]

oh, it's a place.
evidently it's pretty great??
haha. i've never been so.

huh.
lusus is a pretty strange way to say it?
it sounds... kind of latin, actually
lusus. i've got to know that from somewhere.
hm.

anyway none of that matters?
because i think we may have cracked the code.
it's totally human daniel radcliff for us too.
or, well.
radcliffe.
maybe trolls don't do silent letters?
that'd be so helpful.

[iustitia]

1S 1T JUST 4CTORS?
OR 1S TH3R3 MOR3 OV3RL4P 1N F4MOUS F1GUR3S??
JUST HOW D33P DO3S TH1S HOPB34ST HOL3 GO???

[wingstosee]

the human hopbeast hole goes pretty deep.
i think. i don't actually know if humans have hopbeasts.

also what other famous figures would there be?
troll george washington?
troll jesus?

oh my god.
please tell me troll jesus isn't a thing.

[iustitia]

1 C4N S4Y W1TH C3RT41NTY TH4T TH3R3 1S NO TROLL J3SUS
1'M NONPR4CT1C1NG TROLL J3WG1SH BUT 1T'S COMPL1C4T3D 4ND P3RSON4L 4ND 1 DON'T W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T
W3 4LSO DON'T H4V3 TROLL G3ORG3 W4SH1NGTON...
1 DON'T SUPPOS3 YOU H4V3 HUM4N 3MPR3SS TR1ZZ4 T3TH1S OR M33N4H P31X3S?

[wingstosee]

jewgish?

is it just called "jugaism" where you're from??

[iustitia]

1 DON'T W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T

[wingstosee]

oh!
right. it's personal.
um. sorry about that

oh!!!
troll michael jackson
is he a thing?

[iustitia]

OH Y34H!
H3'S 4 R34LLY F4MOUS LOW-BLOOD P3RFORM3R WHO GOT R34LLY POPUL4R W1TH TROLLS FROM 4LL 4CROSS TH3 H3MOSP3CTRUM
H3 D1D TH1S R34LLY GR34T SONG 4BOUT SH4DOW DROPP3RS 4ND TH3 H31NOUS BROODS OF TH3 UND34D
4ND H3 W4S KNOWN FOR T34R1NG UP TH3 D4NC3 FLOOR W1TH H1S S1CK N4STY MOV3S!
1S H3 4 TH1NG ON 34RTH TOO???

[wingstosee]

troll michael jackson isn't...
but human michael jackson sure is.

wow.
i think we've really gotten somewhere.
this isn't just me, right?
this is big?

[iustitia]

1T'S NOT JUST B1G
1T'S HUG3
L1K3, 1 3XP3CT3D *SOM3* K1ND OF OV3RL4P
BUT TO H4V3 TH3M B3 TH1S CLOS3 TO 34CH OTH3R?
TH4T'S SUP3R WH4CK
4R3 TH3S3 GUYS UN1V3RS4L CONST4NTS?

[wingstosee]

oh my god
is dwarf michael jackson a thing?
does he have a huge beard?

this might be too much power.
we have to figure out where this ends.

[iustitia]

TH3R3 4R3 COUNTL3SS UN1V3RS3S OUT TH3R3
WH4T 1F TH3R3 1S NO 3ND
WH4T 1F TH3R3 4R3 4N 1NF1N1T3 NUMB3R OF M1CH43L J4CKSONS WHO 4R3 JUST 4U V4R14NTS OF 34CH OTH3R
3LF M1CH43L J4CKSON
F43R13 M1CH43L J4CKSON

*DR4GON M1CH43L J4CKSON*

[wingstosee]

oh my god!
faerie michael jackson sounds. kind of incredible???
do you think he'd have, like. butterfly wings? or would he be one of the creepy ones.
what's the word for that.
unsealy?

[iustitia]

OH MY GOD 1T'S SP3LL3D UNS33L13 YOU 4BSOLUT3 PL3B
(B3FOR3 YOU G3T SM4RT4SSY W1TH M3 Y3S 1T'S W1TH TH3 1 4ND 3 >:P)
((^^^ TH4T W4S 4 JOK3))

1'D L1K3 TO TH1NK H3'D H4V3 R34LLY F4BULOUS BUTT3RFLY W1NGS
TO M4TCH H1S R34LLY F4BULOUS OUTF1TS
JUST 4 FUCK1NG SMORG4SBORD OF BR1GHT COLOR
BUT 1 4M 4LSO V3RY B14S3D 4BOUT TH4T K1ND OF STUFF SO WHO KNOWS

[wingstosee]

are you sure it's a joke?
i'm pretty sure you got the spelling right...

[ yes, she's just. to the point of ignoring 1s and 3s and thinking they're "ie" now. that totally passed her by. ]

i mean... he'd have to, right?
there's no other way.
like, a white suit, but silver and blue and gold all over his wings.

wait maybe they change colors!!

[iustitia]

OH...
1 JUST THOUGHT YOU'D M4K3 4 CR4CK 4BOUT HOW 1 TYP3
4ND 1 W4S TRY1NG TO H34D TH4T OFF BY M4K1NG 4 JOK3
SO TH4NKS FOR NOT NOT1C1NG 1 GU3SS >:]

SH1T TH4T'S GOOD
DO YOU TH1NK H3'D B3 OUR S1Z3?
OR R34LLY 1TTY B1TTY

[wingstosee]

i mean.
i just think it's not that weird?
when i was younger i tried doing some weird things. like, um
one time i made a post and tried to capitalize the first and last letters of every word?
YoU KnoW, LikE ThiS?
only it turns out that looks kind of awful??
so. that didn't last long.

also definitely itty bitty.
but he can probably do size magic.
that seems like something faeries can do.

[iustitia]

1T'S NOT SO B4D
DON'T T3LL 4NYON3 1 S41D TH1S BUT
1T'S PROB4BLY B3TT3R TH4N WH4T 1'V3 GOT GO1NG ON H3R3 TO B3 1N T3RMS OF R34D4B1L1TY 1F 1'M GO1NG TO B3 3NT1R3LY HON3ST W1TH YOU
ON3 OF MY FR13NDS L1K3S TO Capitalize The First Letter of Every Word Like This
SO
1 K1ND4 L1K3 YOURS!

4T L34ST 1T'S NOT 4LT3RN4T1NG C4P1T4LS 3V3RY L3TT3R
G4G DX<

[wingstosee]

haha. that actually doesn't look too bad, though?
it's very neat. i don't think i could use it but i kind of like it.
yours isn't that bad either, honestly. you just have to squint a little, or zoom out the text, and then it just looks like you're yelling.
but really quietly.

i tried that first!
it was bad. i could never figure out a way to handle spaces that didn't look...
well. i guess it all looked bad to begin with.
that probably didn't help.

[iustitia]

TyPiNg lIkE ThIs iS BaSi

UGH 1 C4N'T 3V3N F1N1SH
1T'S GONN4 G1V3 M3 H1V3S 4ND R4SH3S 4ND L1K3 F1V3 OTH3R SK1N D1S34S3S
TYP1NG L1K3 TH4T 1S B4S1C4LLY TH3 WORST

GOD 1F YOU W4NT Y3LL1NG
1 KNOW 4 GUY WHO JUST TYP3S 1N STR41GHT C4PS 4LL TH3 T1M3
C4PSLOCK 4LL D4Y 3V3RYD4Y
H3'S B4S1C4LLY 4LW4YS Y3LL1NG 1N R34L L1F3 TOO
1 C4N'T R3M3MB3R TH3 L4ST T1M3 H3 US3D H1S 1NS1D3 VO1C3...?
ON3 T1M3 H3 H3LD H1S BR34TH 4ND N34RLY P4SS3D OUT B3C4US3 H3 D1DN'T KNOW HOW TO B3 QU13T OTH3RW1S3

[wingstosee]

it wasn't. as bad as it could be? :(
i mean, it was still bad.
like, really bad.
maybe even skin disease bad?

he sounds. huh.
he really held his breath until he passed out?
that's. actually kind of impressive.

he sounds kind of exhausting to be near, though??
i don't think i could handle it.

[iustitia]

1T'S NOT YOUR F4ULT
1T'S JUST B4D 4SSOC14T1ONS >:[

H3 1S 4 L1TTL3!
(OK4Y, 4 LOT)
BUT H3'S 4CTU4LLY 4 PR3TTY GOOD GUY
JUST
LOUD
H3 W4S TH3 L34D3R OF MY FR13NDS FOR 4 WH1L3
4ND TH4T W4S B4S1C4LLY L1K3 H3RD1NG 4 BUNCH OF P4RT1CUL4RLY UNCOOP3R4T1V3 PURRB34STS!
SO 1 DON'T BL4M3 H1M
*TOO* MUCH >:P
SOM3T1M3S YOU GOTT4 B3 PR3TTY L1B3R4L W1TH YOUR SHOUT POL3S 1N ORD3R TO G3T P3OPL3 TO DO 4NYTH1NG